Glastonbury and the Goddess

It almost broke me, but at the same time it re-ignited my passion for womb yoga, and eased the Goddess back into my life, when I attended Uma Dinsmore-Tuli’s yoga workshop on fertility and menstruation in London recently.

It was perhaps a little ridiculous of me to book a day trip to London. The 7am red-eye flight to Gatwick will challenge most people, but when you have a 2-year old who likes to breastfeed during the night, well it was always going to be a little crazy getting up at 5.15am.

The fact we then spent the next 3 hours on the plane sat at Guernsey airport, due to fog in Gatwick, did not help matters. I was very aware of the Reiki principles of “do not anger” and “do not worry”, but this didn’t really ease my frustration. Fortunately, Paula, a sea swimming friend and yoga student, was working on the plane and reminded me that even getting frustrated was a waste of energy. She is right!

I decided that if the pilot had not managed to sort us a slot by 10.30am, I would bail on the whole ridiculous idea of a day trip to north London. There was beautiful sunny weather in Guernsey and I quite liked the idea of a swim in the sea, followed by a lovely and long yoga practice and a Yoga Nidra, with the children already being cared for by my lovely family.  Typically, the Captain got the all clear at 10.30am and that was that, we were soon airborne.

There followed a rush as I traipsed my way up to Angel, via the slow train to London Bridge, making it to the Life Centre, just before lunch. Typical! I felt a bit sorry for myself initially, there’s nothing worse than walking into a workshop extremely late, hot and dishevelled, but the chocolate on offer helped to lift my spirits and Planet Organic is located next door and they sell really yummy food.

The afternoon passed in a blur, with a 15-minute Yoga Nidra, a couple of hip circles and chatter about well, menstruation and fertility! I am sure I must have learned something new, but I have to be honest in saying that what I learned the most, was the fact I already know a lot about menstruation and fertility, having ‘worked’ and embodied elements of both in my own life over the years.

Eating disorders and excessive yoga practising play havoc with the menstrual cycle as I have discovered, cysts on ovaries also has an impact.  So I have been aware of the menstrual cycle for a while now, although I admit that it is wasn’t until a few years ago that I properly started to honour my cycle and notice how it is continuously guiding me. 

Of course I have first-hand experience of fertility issues too, and have written a book about this called Dancing with the Moon. I appreciate that my approach to fertility may not work for every woman, but I do sincerely believe that yoga can make a huge difference, and I wholeheartedly agree with Uma that the one thing that will help women with both fertility and menstrual issues is to practice Yoga Nidra daily. 

It was a long way to travel to recognise what I already know, but it was uplifting and inspiring to spend time with Uma all the same. She is extremely passionate about yoga for women in the form of womb yoga and of the healing and supportive benefits of Yoga Nidra (on which she leads trainings and is currently writing a book). Uma is also inspiring in that she stands truly in her power and is not afraid to speak her truth. 

I agree with much of what she says and know from my own experience that the practices work.  I totally agree with her especially when she says that most women are full of rage when they realise that the menstrual cycle is something to be embraced – this was a first for many of the women in the room, at least from what I could gather from their questioning, and I respected the manner in which Uma held the space for them to explore and begin the process of shifting their perspective on menstruation to something that is positive and to be honoured.

She also tried to raise awareness on the manner in which women don’t always question what they allow into their vaginas, something that played heavily on me during IVF and all the transvaginal ultrasound. She also echoed my own concerns about cervical smears and the benefit, if any, to be derived from these – this is becoming an increasingly talked about topic and I would urge you to do the research, and really check into your body wisdom. 

This really, is what Uma is trying to achieve – empowering women to check into their body wisdom and listen.i had a sense that Uma is juggling a number of balls at the moment, and yet the practices, especially the Yoga Nidra sustain her. She wouldn’t be able to do all she does otherwise. It’s her balance.

The day trip tipped my already tipped balance though! After a few months of juggling a number of balls, my passion for womb yoga and the Goddess may have been reinstilled, but there was a price to pay as exhaustion loomed! Fortunately, we had a family trip to Glastonbury booked for a few days later, and this couldn’t have arrived at a better timing. 

 2019 has been full-on so far.  It was perhaps ambitious of me to learn Ayurveda and Sanskrit this year, what with a young family but I had hoped that by giving up the finance job at Christmas, I may have had more time on my hands. No! My time now is spent dashing backwards and forwards from Elijah’s school. The downside of our unconscious and unintended ‘attachment’ approach to parenting, has resulted in attached children, to the extent that Elijah suffers with separation anxiety and has to come home for lunch each day.

Still, there have been positives to come from this.  I have started teaching yoga to the reception year children at his school, and I get to read to Elijah and some of his class in the library each week. I’m also getting fitter now that we’ve bought the bike trailer, to ease the amount of time spent in the car!

 All of this, however, with the yoga and the Reiki attunements of late as I attempt to do my bit to share my passion for both (and maybe help to make this world a better place to live), has made for a busy start to the year, and one in which I forgot somehow of the Goddess and all that she does to support us lovely ladies especially. So while Uma reminded me, it was our trip to Glastonbury that cemented the Goddess back in my life again – and what a relief!

In Glastonbury, well Baltonsborough to be exact, about 3 miles from the town itself, we were gifted with the opportunity to stay in a beautiful 100-year old house set on a couple of acres and owned by the lovely and welcoming in-laws of Olga, the lady who prepares all the yummy food on my Glastonbury retreats. 

The family were away on holiday so we had the place to ourselves, in exchange for Ewan pruning some of their trees.  There were views of the Tor in the distance, and the most beautiful and abundant birds visiting the bird table each day (we think a woodpecker visited, but neither of us are bird experts!). This place was a tonic for the soul and the boys just loved all the space to play and the outdoor toys and the trampoline.  

This was all enhanced for me, as Ewan being the wonderful partner he is, and appreciating my need for some ‘filling up’ as the cup was half full, looked after the boys on his own for an hour or so each day so I could enjoy all that Glastonbury had to offer. Usually I am teaching and holding space for others when we visit, so it was a treat to be able to truly receive instead (I always receive when in Glastonbury as it is the town that continuously gives, but you know what I mean!).

I fulfilled a dream of finally attending a full moon event at the Goddess Temple in town, and here I was treated to a crystal bowl sound bath with a lovely lady who was visiting town from Chicago.  I just love the sound of crystal singing bowls and I was transported right back to my first sound bath, over ten years ago now, in Byron, where we floated to the sound of these bowls.  I still have the CD somewhere; there’s nothing quite so rejuvenating for the soul.

The next day, I managed to make an evening class (an absolute treat when you have small children) held at the Goddess House and involving an hour of yoga and the harp. Amazing! If there’s anyone on Guernsey who plays the harp and would like to accompany me at a yoga class, then please let me know! It was an exquisite experience and divinely orchestrated as the pregnant lady who taught the class, Rebekah, had also been in London last week training with Uma (how we love a coincidence after Reiki attunements!) so the class was womb-yoga influenced and familiar to me in its approach. 

 Despite all these wonderful sessions, I was still feeling a little out of sorts the next day (a healing crisis from the last Reiki attunement I now realise), and so I booked a last minute appointment for an aromatherapy massage at the Goddess House. Unbeknown to me at the time of booking, the lady, Anna, is also a Reiki Master (you got to love a coincidence) as well as being a Priestess of Avalon. Anna invited the Lady of Avalon into the session, and I have to say this was a noticeable turning point for me.

How had I forgotten the Goddess?

I blame reading too many yogic texts, which I truly respect, but have a feeling are very masculine in energy and approach. Where are the yogic texts for women raising children?!

The energy of the Goddess permeates Glastonbury. She is everywhere. The town is filled with Priestesses and Witches and women trying to find their way. It’s a healing place I have no doubt, because the Lady of Avalon holds you well. The land itself is infused with her energy, you can’t help but drop into that space within yourself.

On our last day, I finally got to visit Shekinah Yoga Retreat Centre (used to be an ashram) where I joined Rebekah for a womb-yoga fuelled class, set to beautiful music and in the lovely yoga space that has been infused with the energy of years of practice and kirtan. I felt truly nourished. I also felt as if I had finally made a yoga connection in the town itself and am keen to return again – there’s kirtan at Shekinah each Friday evening, which I’m keen to one day attend. 

We then took our second pilgrimage up to the top of the Tor, Elijah rebelling against the flow, and finding his own steep way to the top. Back down again at the bottom of the Tor, Ewan and I cooled down with a nude dip in the White Spring.  Being in this dark cavern with candles providing limited light always has a positive effect on both of us. The water feels so clean, as if we are literally washing away negativity and emerging renewed and refreshed again – like coming out of the womb perhaps! Even Elijah has grown to appreciate this space and enjoys collecting the water from the spring, which is far nicer in taste that the iron red water from Chalice Wells across the road.

I left Glastonbury a little heavy hearted the next day simply because I love the energy of this place, the supposed heart chakra of the world, where I have made some really lovely connections. Still, I left knowing that we will be returning again in May for the Glastonbury yoga & wellbeing retreat, and that the energy of the Goddess returns back to Guernsey with me, in my heart (and in my womb), and having rewoven herself – fortunately – back into my life - I am grateful to the moon and the stars for orchestrating this, and for reminding me not to forget again!

If you’re feeling in need of some nourishment then I really encourage you to check out the free Yoga Nidras on my website, but also on www.yoganidranetwork.org, Uma has some wonderful ones on there. Also perhaps try out the practices detailed in Uma’s amazing book Yoni Shakti, which is available on Amazon. You might also book a trip to Glastonbury, you can stay at Shekinah Yoga Retreat Centre, which is just below the Tor, or perhaps join me on one of my Glastonbury Yoga & Wellbeing Retreats at Lower Coxbridge House – I’m biased but this is an incredible spot and the Goddess invites herself along to help hold the space; you can’t help but leave feeling touched by her energy! 

I’ll write more on both menstruation and fertility another time. But if you are experiencing issues with either, then do practice Yoga Nidra as often as you can (there’s one on the website for menstruation and fertility) and start charting your cycle. Make a note of how you feel at each stage and check what is going on with the moon cycle. Also try out the free yoga videos on the website for yoga for menstruation and yoga for fertility and see what happens if you practice these regularly for a whole month. Really get to know your body!

Thank you to Olga and the Parkers and to Ewan and the boys. Thank you also to Anna, Rebekah and the Lady of Avalon. and to the Goddess of the Moon for shining her light on the shadows.

Love Emma x

Shifting around the autumnal equinox!

After what was an amazing retreat in Glastonbury, it’s been a little tricky fitting back into “life” in Guernsey this week.  This has not been helped by the rather challenging shifting energy of the autumnal equinox.

I’ve a sense that this equinox is always rather tricky but this year it’s been particularly testing.  And we haven’t even reached D-day just yet!

Work has been especially difficult. Most people don’t realise that I’m a company secretary by profession, working part-time and flexible hours for a wealth management company. Well, this week, the egos have been out in force – I suspect I’m a little more sensitive to it due to Mabon and the Glastonbury experience, but nonetheless, phew, it’s been a touch interesting.

It seems that the fact you have “Head of”, “Director” or some other inane title to define your role means that for some reason you think it’s OK to treat others as if they are less worthy. Umm hello people, we’re all people, right? One day we’re all going to die and titles will be utterly meaningless in the grand scheme of things. People won’t remember us for our job title, they’ll remember us for how loving, compassionate and kind we might have been (and forget us quite quickly if we haven’t been any of these things) and whether we’ve made a difference to people’s lives/the world.

I find it incredible that people – sensible, intelligent, responsible people - can create such a divide within an organisation, and yet not have any awareness of this or the impact on people’s lives, nor on society and the world as a whole. We need to remember that we are all connected and our actions affect everyone, not just those immediate to us. 

We are all the same. Human. People. Living. Breathing. Remember! The sooner we realise this the better for everyone.

I can’t tell you how happy I was yesterday reading about the landmark ruling against two leading drug companies, which could save the NHS hundreds of millions a year. The case centred on the treatment of patients with a common eye condition, wet age-related macular degeneration. Twelve NHS bodies in the north east of England were offering these patients Avastin, a cheaper alternative to the licensed drug, Lucentis. The drug companies were trying to prevent the NHS from doing this. 

Drug company Novartis said they were "disappointed" because patients were being asked to accept an unlicensed treatment to save the NHS money. The truth is, unlicensed or not, the drug was doing the job. Crazy that the drug company thinks the NHS should have to pay more for a drug in the first place – don’t they want to help people? Perhaps they do but clearly making money is much more important.

The pharmaceutical companies have been holding people to ransom for years and putting profit ahead of people’s wellbeing. I don’t doubt that there are scientists working for these companies who truly want to find a cure and make a difference to people’s lives. But I’m also well aware that the bottom line is what is important to these companies. This saddens me beyond belief. People’s lives hang in the balance because of a balance sheet and a profit and loss account.

But sadly this is the very nature of many companies, especially the bigger ones – maximising profits regardless of the ethics. Not only do they put people’s lives at risk for the bottom line, but so many people sell their souls to work in these organisations, trapped because they don’t see they have an option as they have to pay the mortgage. I’ve lost count of the number of times someone tells me that they work for an organisation that they have little interest in, but they feel they have to do it to afford to live.

Perhaps fundamental to this is the fact that we live in a debt-driven society. It keeps the masses controlled so I can’t see this changing any time soon. Ridiculous when you think about it, that so many are sadly and effectively ‘trapped’, spending their lives working in jobs they don’t enjoy to pay mortgages for houses that they rarely inhabit as they’re at work paying for them. But that’s how life has become and there doesn’t really seem to be many options to live differently.

What’s even worse is that many end up sick, suffering with stress, depression, anxiety and/or paranoia as they try to live a life that doesn’t truly suit them. This isn’t helped by the modern pace of life that sees us constantly rushing…always rushing…there’s never enough time, always too much to fit in, too much to do, too many deadlines, too much choice, too much of everything.

And we destroy our beautiful planet in the process of all this rushing, because we don’t have time to do things differently. We put redundant “stuff” in landfill because we can’t be bothered/are too busy to recycle them, we continue to buy products wrapped/held in plastic even though we know we shouldn’t but they’re easy and we’re too busy. We ignore litter at the side of the road because we think it’s someone else’s job and we don’t have time. We clean our houses, our schools, our hospitals and our offices with chemicals that get flushed or washed into the water system.

We’re also too busy rushing that we don’t always have time to look after ourselves, not properly. We don’t have time to grow our own food, or to pop to the veggie stall, choosing some plastic-packaged produce from the nearest shop instead, too busy to cook from fresh, putting foods into our body that have very few nutrients and certainly lack the love of good home cooking cooked by those of a loving heart.  

Then there is the land being utterly destroyed with all the building and the quarrying and the reaping of the natural resources so that we can keep living as we’re doing, and so we can keep rushing. I’ll never forget a little 4-year old boy I met commenting that my car emitted pollution. I was quite taken aback because my car was no different to anyone else’s and then I realised. Yes. My car does excrete pollution. So does his Mummy’s, he wasn’t judging me, just making me aware. Using my car means that I can rush more easily! 

Elijah is fascinated by smoke coming out of a vehicle. On our trip to Glastonbury he was always looking for exhausts with smoke. It was heartening to see so few now really emit smoke, but emit we do. Pollution. Into the air. That we breathe. That nourishes the plants we eat. 

On and on.

We’re living in a way that isn’t sustainable but who really cares? We just keep living the same way because that’s all we know and because that’s how society goes. I can tell you from experience that it’s difficult doing things differently, going against the norm, but perhaps it’s time that we all started doing this a little bit more.

This week it has gotten to me a little bit and I’ve been thinking about the many ways that I don’t live in harmony with my inner truth and with the world as a whole. Plastic is a good example of this. I loathe plastic and seek to reduce my use of this. But still I continue to buy plastic packaged fruits because there is no other option if my sons want to continue to eat the berries they love. I’ve tried to overlook it or make excuses for it, but how can I expect things to change unless I, the consumer, make the change.

I haven’t yet managed to avoid buying the berries, but I was delighted to come across www.theplasticfreeshop.co.uk where I invested in a number of plastic free products including deodorant, toothpaste, dental floss and lunchboxes. I was delighted when my goodies arrived in record time and beautifully packaged and with a thank you note from the lady running the site.

I also finally got around to ordering a starter pack of reusable and environmentally (and vagina) friendly sanitary pads from www.honouryourflow.co.uk. I’ve been meaning to buy these for a while but the initial cost always seemed so high… I wish I hadn’t waited so long because they’ll more than pay for themselves before long. Until now, I’ve tended to use the Natracare range, but I find that they can leak and cause soreness. 

The Bodyform stuff doesn’t leak, but it’s non-environmentally friendly (made entirely of plastic) and definitely creates soreness, especially with that awful scented stuff. So these soft and beautifully packaged and presented pads are a revelation and every menstruating lady should get themselves a starter pack - you get a free couple of goodie things and a thank you note from the owner too. I can’t tell you what a difference these thank you notes have made – people selling products that they actually care about, that come with heart energy, a revelation after the ego events this week!

So while I’ve been a little despondent this week, it has spurred me into action and I’m pleased I’ve finally made some progress to reduce my reliance on plastic - plus there have been many other positives like that drugs case. It seems I’m not alone this week though in becoming increasingly aware of how badly we are treating this planet. I almost laughed out loud therefore when I read the astronomical reading for this week in my moon diary (written at least a year ago);

”The innovative and revolutionary T-square continues to hold between Taurean Uranus, Mars, still in the earliest degrees of humanitarian Aquarius and Venus, now in Scorpio and is guaranteed to bring the shocks and uncertainty that raise adrenalin levels. Evoked by deep-seated anger from the collective, a new awareness is awakening – of the limits of existing attitudes to acquisition, growth and natural resources.”

So it seems it’s in the field and change is afoot.  

Change is afoot in other (and yet related) ways, because the cycle of the wheel is turning and yesterday was the autumnal equinox, when the night time becomes equal to the length of the day time and the sunrise and sunset align exactly east and west. The final fruit harvest time is upon us and root vegetables are now plentiful – it’s time to prepare for the hard winter times ahead.

Some call this the festival of Mabon in honour of the God of Light, son of Modron, for others it is Alben Elfed “the light of water”. The God of Lights is defeated by his twin and alter ego, the God of Darkness, and many stories talk of the gods and goddesses returning to the underworld.

It’s a time of shifting as we too shift to find our new balance. You might feel therefore totally out of balance, and a little all over the place as some of the older ways of being drop away and the new has yet to come in. These periods of transition can be tricky and this is the reason I’m always keen that we’re aware of transitioning in yoga – how we move from one place to the next? This is the reason I love to flow (consciously), not simply focusing on the beginning and the end, but on that place in the middle too, the link.

The transition is a practice in its own right because how we transition on our yoga mats might give us an insight into how we transition in our lives. Can we retain our balance when everything around us is in flux? Can we hold true to ourselves when everyone else is doing something different? Can we stay centred as everything falls apart to be rebuilt again in a way that might be better aligned?  Can we resist the fear and maintain a solid base, rooted and trusting (always a challenge when fear kicks in!).

It seems to me that this truly is a time for letting go of all that’s been and trusting that we end up where we now need to be, re-aligning and re-adjusting to a new way of being, of both endings and new beginnings. This is also a time of purples and greens (think blackberries and hedgerows), and trusting in the intuition and the heart, as we get truly to the heart of things.

I really hope that this seasonal shift creates a shift in how we’re living and that we start being a little kinder and compassionate to ourselves and to each other and that we start taking better care of this beautiful world in which we live – we’re lucky to be able to call it home.  

Happy equinox!

Going with the new moon flow

That was a potent new moon for me and Rebekah Shaman was spot on when she said it was all about going with the flow (see her reading here https://mailchi.mp/rebekahshaman.com/newmoondec011218-875949?e=eae0fe6be6).

When I initially read it, a few days before the new moon, I kind of thought, “yer, yer, this whole going with the flow is such a cliché”, but now, a day after the new moon and after a 48 hour healing crisis on the back of a Jo treatment, I totally know it to be true.

 I’ve been resisting a number of things recently and especially Elijah starting school.  We had a traumatic pre-school experience when he was two and half and I’ve been fretting about school ever since. In fairness that experience was a lesson in itself, in not istening to anyone else about what to do with your child – while everyone may have told us we should put him in pre-school to socialise him, he wasn’t ready and the pre-school managed the situation badly.  Lesson learned- never listen to anyone else about how best to parent your child.

So I’ve been resisting school, and the change that this brings.  Admittedly I do have my concerns about the school “system” but that is beyond the scope of this blog.  More so the point here is that in worrying about school, I was getting myself rather worked up and focusing on the negatives rather than trying to see any positives (beyond the fact I know the head teacher, deputy head and head of reception very well, what a gift!).

It didn’t help – although of course it did – that the new moon energy was ramping up the energy of not knowing and of going with the flow regardless – lesson is of course to trust. I became very aware of the uncomfortable nature of not knowing, of being in doubt, of sitting with ambiguity.  It’s horrible!  Much more comfortable to have certainty, to plan and to know.   

In my role as a company secretary, I do a lot of planning, often years ahead to know when meetings will be held.  In yoga too, I’m often planning retreats years in advance, plus workshops and even classes. This doesn’t leave a lot of room for going with the flow, or just doing what you feel in the moment. It also means that you get used to things being fairly certain (as much as anything is ever certain). 

So sitting with uncertainty is tricky. Well at least it is if you want things to be black and white. But life is never ever black and white. There is always grey. So being with the grey can be challenging.  It involves trusting. Trusting that everything will unfold in the way that it is meant to.  That if something doesn’t feel right, and yet doesn’t feel wrong, that you just need to stay with it, be patient, and wait until you have a feeling/clarity about what is right, Then you ‘know’ and then you can act without doubt or questioning, however crazy your decision might be to someone else) I can certainly relate to this!).

I struggled my way through the new moon with my fixed mind thinking it knew what needed to happen to provide certainty, but without truly knowing, so I ended up feeling pretty anxious about that (anxiety was definitely in the field) and being pretty challenged by this going with the flow thing. This was not helped by a healing crisis and old energy coming up, cue monetary depression, not me, I wasn’t depressed but just fighting inside myself, between what I thought and reality and the sense of hopelessness that comes with this, the “I can’t be bothered” attitude and just when you feel deserted by all your friends (as they too go through their own moon thing!).

So we always come through the other side, the light always follows the brief darkness, as if you need to see one to recognise the other. Elijah enjoyed his first day at school (long may it last), the school drop off and pick up wasn’t so bad, the sun shone, Eben and I got onto the cliffs, life carried on, the sea manged a super low tide and a super high tide, it did it’s thing, went with the flow.  Amazing! Imagine if the sea resisted its flow, what a mess that would be!

I had to laugh though because here I was exhausting all this energy questioning the flow of things, and there was E just living each day as if it is his first and last. It’s annoying he has the ability to do this without a second of mediation or yoga or inner searching.  Just compartmentalising and being present. Still, all our souls are on different journeys…always learning something…just got to trust in it.

So we’re off to Glastonbury this weekend, I’m not planning, honest, just going to go with the flow and see where that amazing Glastonbury energy takes me! Hoorah for going with the flow…and sitting with ambiguity!

x

Full moon eclipse!

That was a pretty intense moon cycle and I was pleased when the weather changed with the eclipse and ushered in the wind to blow away the stagnant energy.  Phew!

I didn’t actually get to see the eclipse.  Elijah had stayed up intentionally to see it with me, but when we went outside to look at the moon and try and see the local owl and the bats, it was cloudy, so I kind of just gave up and drank some champagne instead! I’m grateful then that Steph Bisson (who is my most amazingly gifted friend) took this photo of the moon, incredible!

We did however do our first family own ritual.  Ordinarily if the mood (or moon!) takes me, then I do this on my own.  But last night, I just felt it was time to involve the family, as this is where this recent moon cycle has encouraged more – more firmly centred with my family.

The full moon is a really good time to forgive and let go, so I wrote down a list of things that I wanted to forgive and let go, earlier in the day after my practice. Ewan lit a fire and I cleansed us all with salt and moon resin (oh how we laughed at the craziness of Mummy), then setting up an altar and doing my thing, before burning the note shortly after the moon peaked. 

What I loved the most about all this was Elijah who went and got his things to put on the altar.  It was incredibly sweet and made me feel very warm on the inside!

We managed to complete the ritual without anyone burning themselves, shrieking, or crying.  It was quite amazing because it has been one of those weeks – I have moon boys and they become rather excitable, Eben especially, around the full moon.

Mind you this whole moon cycle has been a touch testing, but also absolutely necessary.

Around the time of the last new moon I had this strong sense that we needed to cut the cr@p and stop messing around with this whole spirituality malarkey. This became increasingly clear to me over the two weeks, and I feel now that I can articulate this a bit better!

I have a feeling that this “light and love” spiritual approach is not doing us any favours. I mean I’m all up for the love and the light, but I think we easily hide behind it and in the process deny and repress our darkness into the shadows. What we deny on the inside will show up on the outside.  So the more we focus solely on the light, the more the darkness will show up in the world to try and get our attention.

We need to genuinely do the work to reclaim the shadow.  No more spiritual bypassing.  No more denial and pretence about who we are. We need to do what needs to be done to love and accept all aspects of ourselves, including the demon (in the shadows). We need to truly recognise that we are not our thoughts and that this duality does no one any favours.

We are pure being at heart and we need to do what we can to keep connecting with this and let all the other stuff drop away.

It sounds so easy but heck it’s really very tough. Much easier to focus on the light and love with all its hearts and loveliness and wonderful Instagram pictures and spiritual materialism and bypass the real work.

But nope, that isn’t going to cut it anymore. I’m not sure yoga with its commercialism and false advertising around the whole “peaceful, slim, dressed in lululemon, eating healthy gluten, wheat, diary and refined sugar free snacks, drinking freshly squeezed juice, floating on her lotus” yogini is going to cut it anymore either. It shouldn’t have cut it in the first place because it isn’t real!

I went for a Reiki treatment recently and the very lovely lady was surprised to hear that I was stressed. Stress and yoga teacher are not too words you expect to hear together.  But really us yoga teachers are masters of stress, and depression and anxiety and all those sorts of things because it was these conditions that brought us to yoga in the first place. I know how to ease other people’s stress through yoga, because I have first hand experience!

It’s like one of my friends said when I was talking to her about this, “but you yoga teachers are all nutty!”  She’s right because all of us are a bit nutty, but we spend our lives trying to pretend otherwise.

Embrace the nuttiness I say. Learn to love it and keep it real. Maybe then the world will be a more peaceful and happier place as we won’t be working so hard to repress the supposed bad stuff.

So that’s where I’m at. That’s what I’m working on. But there’s more because it was an eclipse, which means that change is very much in the air and will need now to settle…and we will all no doubt have our journeys to follow with that one to bring greater meaning and better alignment into our lives...of course the old will also need to drop away...so love your family, do the work and be at ease within yourself. And get on with doing what you've put off doing if it keeps calling.

Love and light and nuttiness!   

Growing on the moon!

We just returned home from the Loire in France to find that the greenhouse has exploded into magnificent abundance.  Wow!

I decided this year that I would have a go at planting from seed in accordance with the moon cycle.  This works on the age-old belief that phases of the moon affect plant growth and thus the time that you plant the seed will have a bearing on the fruits (or vegetables!) from said seed.

I have to be honest, it wasn't easy.  Eben at 18 months was a liability in the greenhouse and the planting was a little rushed to say the least, and a busy spell meant that my parents did most of the initially watering and tending.  Still, I managed to plant out most of the developing seedlings following Mum's instructions (this following my botched effort while they were in Australia and only to kill the beans with over watering - note to self, beans do not like too much water!).

So I'm pretty pleased to return from our holiday and find that the broccoli in particular has done very well, not a caterpillar in sight, and the stem and the head are strong and vibrant. I haven't tasted them yet, but I have three huge broccoli head's now sat in my fridge as I was keen to harvest before the flower petals appear, so it looks like we'll be eating broccoli all week.  Not a problem for me as it's my favourite vegetable and I am stillllllllll obsessed by turmeric curry and especially with broccoli in it.

I'm impressed with the chard too and the sweetcorn looks like it may soon be ready to harvest, but I know very little about this and await Mum's further insight and instructions.

The peas are in full flow and shall be a welcome addition to the curry with the chard too. I'm looking forward to the beans and courgettes catching up. Perfect Turmeric vegetarian curry coming up!

The fruit trees in the greenhouse are so heavy with fruit that some of the branches have dropped down to the ground with the weight. So I expect a bountiful harvest of mirabelles, greengage, plums and even nectarines.  The fig tree has gone crazy, I've never seen so many figs on it, so I guess we'll be able to sell some of these too.  I'll keep you posted as this is yummy home grown (without chemicals) fruit, tastes so much better than the stuff in the shops...

So I guess perhaps there is something in this moon-growing malarkey, another reason to bow down with humble gratitude to the wonderful moon and all her offerings!

x