Yoga, Ramblings Emma Despres Yoga, Ramblings Emma Despres

Surrendering to Yoga

Yesterday I was in overwhelm. Overwhelm at the thought of not being able to teach yoga or share Reiki. Overwhelm at the thought of not being able to touch anyone. Overwhelm at the idea of not being able to earn any money to help support my family. Overwhelm at the idea of home schooling/unschooling my children and at the sheer volume of people sharing home schooling content (thank you but enough already!). Overwhelm at the fast pace in which events are unfolding, and not being able to keep on top of it or process it properly. And overwhelm at the effect on children/loved ones and the wider community.

I wanted to understand and I had questions that couldn’t be answered, about the approach being taken by government and exit strategies and the manner in which decisions impact on everyone. I wanted certainty, of outcome, of knowing. I found myself reflecting, for example, on the irony, of how, in an effort to protect the vulnerable from suffering, many more end up suffering and feeling vulnerable – but this I know is karma in action, every action has a consequence, even well intended action. 

I was torn on my perspective and feeling both compassion and anger all at the same time. It was like being in a washing machine of shifting emotions. Needless to say I went to bed last night with both a heavy heart, grieving all that had been, and feeling exhausted from trying to stay positive when there is so much fear pervading the world. I also felt helpless to do anything positive to help and a little purposeless as a result. There was a real sense of endings, with no clear idea of the new beginnings and my role in this.

Today I feel very differently. The Spring Equinox has ushered in a wave of clarity and positive energy, and there has been a surrendering to, and acceptance of our current situation.  I am very aware that we are all facing the collective shadows, of fear of dying and fear of not having enough money to survive. It’s our survival that is being tested on every level. Yet what have we to lose? 

For many it feels that we are losing everything we have ever known, our jobs, our businesses, our homes, the life that we had created thus far. Yet there is the concept of Samsara, first expressed in the Upanishads 3,500 years ago, the idea of the cycle of reincarnation, a continuous spin of birth and death as the soul completes its time in one form before taking on another.

Whether or not you actually believe in reincarnation, there is a lesson that can be learned from the concept of samsara itself – everything is continuously changing.   During the course of our lives we will birth/create and let go of many identities, stages of life, relationships, ideas, beliefs and goals. We are continuously coming into new forms and ways of being again and again. Understanding and appreciating samsara as a natural and necessary process can be comforting at times like this, when we go through periods of (intense) transition. 

In theory these are the periods of illumination that encourage us to grow. The more we settle into these moments of great change and uncertainty, the more comfortable we can become in the big-shift feelings that accompany them – albeit the feelings of anxiety, fear, sadness that accompany the letting go into the unknown and uncertainty can be utterly overwhelming. 

I am reminded too of Isvara Pranidhara, the last of the five niyamas, or inner practices of Patanjali’s Yoga Sutra, meaning ‘surrender to a higher power’. This is not a process of defeat or of mindlessly submitting to another’s will, but the act of giving ourselves over to a higher purpose. It is about accepting what cannot change and acknowledging that we are not entirely masters of our own fate. In surrendering to something greater (of which we are a part – the collective consciousness), and letting go we open ourselves up to the potential of greater peace, love and freedom of mind. 

I realise that yesterday I was very much stuck in my own ego and false sense of loss, whereas today (and long may it continue) the shifting energy has helped me to recognise that this is absolutely not about me! We are all affected and we all have a role to play. This is dharma, another of the concepts discussed in the Upanishads. Depending on our innate disposition or nature, each of us has been assigned (or has chosen) a role to play in this lifetime. It is our duty and responsibility to play our role to the best of our potential, getting on with it, uncomplaining, without hankering after someone else’s.

Life will never be quite the same again. Just like the body gives us signs before dis-ease manifests as illness, so too the universe has been prodding us, trying to get our attention. There have been financial crises encouraging us to live within our means, changing weather patterns showing us that all is not well up there in the atmosphere, and our own collective loss of mental wellbeing, indicating that as a specie we are not well either. We need to pull together to find a new way forward, living our dharma!

I feel that it is more important than ever to keep sharing yoga and Reiki with you and I am proposing this schedule next week:

  • Sunday 22 March 2020, 9.30-10.30am -  Free Yoni Yoga for the ladies. This is a deeply nourishing and feminine approach to practice, with a guided Yoga Nidra, perfect for Mother’s Day. Facebook Live.

  • Monday 23 March 2020, 10-10.15/20am – Free Children’s Yoga. Let’s give it a whirl, Elijah might help me! Facebook Live. Depending on how the children find it, I’ll offer more.

  • Monday 23 March 2020, 6.15-7.30pm – Free Hatha Yoga class with Yoga Nidra. Zoom. You will need to sign up as a participant for Zoom, which is free. I will post further instructions, this will be a learning curve for me too!

  • Tuesday 24 March 2020, 8.30-9pm – Free group new moon meditation/Reiki share. We’ll try and do this on Zoom. We’ll breath together and prepare to sit and meditate on new moon energy, while sending distance Reiki for those Reiki attuned, and to each other within the group.

  • Wednesday 25 March 2020, 7.30-8.15 am – Free Hatha Yoga class. Facebook live.

  • Thursday 26 March 2020, 6-7pm – Hatha Yoga class, Zoom, £10 to join the session, email me to join and I will provide the link and payment details. You will need to sign up as a participant for Zoom, which is free.

  • Friday 27 March 2020, 9.30-10.45am – Hatha Yoga class with Yoga Nidra, Zoom, £10 to join the session, email me to join and I will provide the link and payment details. You will need to sign up as a participant for Zoom, which is free.

This is all subject to change, if there’s one thing we are learning, it is flexibility and going with the flow. 

 Love Emma x

P.S. Please do check the blog and Facebook for updates!

 

 

 

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Turning of the Wheel Emma Despres Turning of the Wheel Emma Despres

And so the wheel turns...

It’s been an interesting day, full of a whole range of emotions from excitement, to anger, to frustration, to sadness, to anger, to hope, to joy and back to sadness again. It’s selfish really as I’m not sad for the loss of life to the virus, but for the loss of the life that I, and others like me, loved. Yet I am very aware, and this on the eve of the turning of the wheel and the Spring Equinox, reminding us of balance, and days away from the new moon cycle, that all endings bring with them new beginnings. We need a collective change, and Mother Earth needs a break. So let's hope that those new beginnings usher in a way of ‘being’ that finds us living in far greater harmony with ourselves, with Mother Earth and with every other living thing. I hear there are fights in the supermarkets in the UK, so maybe there is some way to go, but let’s hope and pray. Here’s seven positive things from today:

I was told that with the better quality of air in China ‘they’ reckon 50,000 lives will be saved!

With children soon to be off school, we parents get to spend more time with them and take some responsibility for their education – personally I’ve always been curious about unschooling so we might give that a whirl.

Dare I say, women are forced back into the home, whether that’s positive or not who can tell, but maybe we can rest without all the rushing around that life otherwise entails (and this with a hyper 3 year old in the household!).

There are less cars on the roads in Guernsey, which is a joy when cycling.

The hedgerows are absolutely stunning as spring blooms and nature is buzzing with a potent vibration (maybe enough to shift the virus, let’s hope!).

The wheel is turning, the Spring Equinox will bring a shift and more light is flooding in.

The sea is 9.2 degrees and absolutely beautiful at the moment! Saints was stunning this morning (another benefit to children being off school, no need to rush off the beach!).

Love, love, love. xxx

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Healing, Ramblings, Spirituality Emma Despres Healing, Ramblings, Spirituality Emma Despres

The light is never far away from the dark

If ever there was a time to settle into the light then it is now; as so many are overwhelmed and suffering, being forced to face their deepest fears.

It is a turbulent time of change and upheaval on Mother Earth, and I feel it is more important than ever to hold space for those who wish to connect to their inner light and wisdom, pouring love out into the world and raising vibration through yoga and Reiki classes. 

I’m writing this while on retreat on Sark, where the energy of fear has yet to appear and we are able to settle into our centre more easily. While others may feel differently, this is a heartfelt choice for me right now, although may well change as events unfold.

On Saturday, I was cycling down Sark’s high street, trying to think what I might write to those who attend class when I felt an overwhelming need to visit the local charity shop, which I’ve wanted to do for years. In here, I was immediately drawn to the book section where a book, “The Game of Life and How to Play It” by Florence Shinn caught my attention.  I opened the book by chance on page 51 and there in front of me were written these exact words:

Perhaps one’s fear is of disease or germs. Then one should be fearless and undisturbed in a germ-laden situation, and he would be immune. One can only contract germs while vibrating at the same rate as the germ, and fear drags men down to the level of the germ”. 

Then later, at class, a particular poem caught my attention that I felt absolutely had to be shared:

The Choice for Love

What does the voice of fear 

Whisper to you?

 

Fear speaks to you

In logic and reason.

It assumes the language 

Of love itself.

 

Fear tells you,

“I want to make you safe”

Love says

“You are safe”.

 

Fear says

“Give me symbols.

Give me frozen images.

Give me something 

I can rely on”

 

Loving truth says

“Only give me 

This moment”

 

Fear would walk you 

On a narrow path

Promising to take you

Where you want to go.

 

Love says,

“Open your arms

And fly with me.”

 

Every moment of your life

You are offered the opportunity

To choose-

Love or fear,

To tread the earth 

Or to soar to the heavens.

If ever there was a time to accept the universal order, which only appears to be chaotic and ever-changing, then it is now. Regardless of what life throws at us, individually or globally, the dance of the universe is a happy one. We should nor fear the change or the loss – from darkness comes light.

This is an opportunity to put into practice all we have learned on our spiritual journey thus far:

  • To stay centred through great confusion. 

  • To go with the flow, not sweating the small stuff. 

  • To develop a forgiving heart if someone has caused us harm. 

  • Accepting life as it unfolds, however uncomfortable. 

  • Finding the courage to live from our hearts and our deepest truth, even if that goes against what is expected of us by others. 

  • Letting go of judgments and feeling compassion instead for those who have made different choices to our own. 

  • Sending love and light to all those suffering, especially those who judge and criticise us for the choices we have made. 

 Love Emma x

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Events Emma Despres Events Emma Despres

Syrian Refugee Fundraising Yoga Class (Bridge2Bridge)

The refugee situation in Greece has triggered a feeling of utter helplessness and hopelessness in me. These are people running from war, bombs and torture, yet here they are met with resistance from a world that doesn't want them. It's so sad, especially when you consider that these are people just like you and me, with young children, trying to live. I know that getting sad, angry and frustrated serves no one, especially the refugees. I also know that 'we need to be the change we want to see in the world' (Gandhi) and as I'd like the world to be a kinder, more compassionate and loving place I'm working on that. But I feel I need to do something practical. Sarah Griffith of Bridge2 is on the ground in Greece and has asked people to help her help the refugees by donating the price of a take-out coffee or two. I hope we can do better than that. Please join me on Easter Saturday, 11th April, 10-11am at St Martin's CC, with friends and family, to practice yoga together, helping to increase (potentially) kindness, compassion and love for self and others, while also raising some much needed funds for the refugees. Those of you who are Reiki attuned will also be invited to send some distance healing to the refugees and fill the room with Reiki too. Absolutely all proceeds will go to Bridge2 to enable Sarah to make a positive difference to the lives of some refugees, even if it is just for a day. It's the least we can do as fellow human beings. Thank you xxx

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Healing, Health & Diet, Ramblings Emma Despres Healing, Health & Diet, Ramblings Emma Despres

Ten years of sea swimming - the joy!

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As I approach the ten year anniversary of all-year around sea swimming, I can’t help thinking how much life has changed, so that sea swimming has become normalised (as has chakras and crystals), which can only be a good thing.

Even doctors are nowadays prescribing sea swimming for depression as a friend of mine recently discovered. It was a bout of depression and anxiety that initially brought me to all-year around sea swimming. Depression was familiar, but anxiety was new to me and I was gripped by a ridiculous fear of leaving the house and was weepy and emotional, slightly paranoid too. 

I’d been overworking, teaching too much yoga and channelling too much Reiki without protecting myself properly or establishing good boundaries. It was a lesson learned. But nonetheless at the time, it was a little traumatic as I wasn’t familiar with the intensity of the feelings of anxiety and fear of leaving the house.

I stopped working, I had no choice, and took myself off to the doctor who referred me to the local mental health service for CBT. She prescribed Prozac too, but as with previous prescriptions for this drug, I knew that the pharmaceutical route was not for me, depression in my experience is a depression of the soul and this was a wake-up call; I wasn’t listening to my heart, or honouring my soul; my spirit was low.

One of my friend’s, who had a history of depression, invited me to join her sea-swimming, she said that it has really helped her when she was feeling low. I was aware by then of the healing power of nature, and E had encouraged me into the garden, and at the advice of my Ayurvedic doctor I was getting my hands in the earth and weeding – as if weeding out the weeds that were causing my depression, my inability to access the light. I was keen to try sea swimming and appreciated my friend’s support.

I’d been an avid surfer during my teenage years so was frequently in the sea all-year around, albeit in a wet suit. During my twenties, while I had stopped surfing by then, I hung out with a group of friends who were passionate about the sea and we’d frequently do the ‘weaver run’, often on our walk home late at night from the Rockmount, either at Cobo or Vazon. This involved removing our clothes and running as fast as we could into the sea at low tide, risking a weaver fish sting!

We’d also meet regularly after work during the summer months to swim at ‘Barnacle Point’ off Albecq or from the rocks near Fort Houmet, eager to connect with the sea after a day spent sat in soul-less offices. Towards the end of my twenties, I started travelling regularly, to Australia mainly, to undertake my yoga training, and I’d swim every day in the sea. Back home in Guernsey though, I might go a few times during the summer, but I didn’t make a habit of it.

So now I was keen to see how connecting with the sea might make me feel.  My friend collected me one mid-morning and drove us to Petit Bot, where we were the only people on the beach. It was this that positively affected me as much as the sea swim. I was so used to working during every hour that I had available to me, that I rarely took time to get out during the day time, and it felt odd, like a whole new reality was presenting itself to me – one where you allowed yourself to go to the beach during ‘normal’ working hours and do something for yourself, namely swim!

The swim itself was amazing. For the first time in days I wasn’t pre-occupied by the stomach churning anxiety and emotional sensitivity that this brought with it. Instead, I experienced myself very much in the present moment, of being shocked awake in the freezing cold sea! I couldn’t believe how much better I felt afterwards, as if something had literally been awoken in me; my mind calmer, my body more grounded than it had been for a long time, my energy cleansed, and my soul nourished by this interaction with Mother Nature.

I was hooked almost immediately and haven’t looked back since. I took a few months off from working, and went sea swimming daily, either with my friend, and the other ladies who swam at Petit Bot at that time, or with E watching from the beach. My mental wellbeing improved significantly during this period, and I always accredit sea swimming for this. 

Not only did the physical act of getting in cold water help to ground me in the present (and therefore ease the anxiety and depression) but it also helped me to look at my life and re-prioritise the way that I was living it, with daily sea swimming becoming an essential part of this. It created a shift in my perspective too, and I started to feel joy again, how could I not, as I took in the beach and the sea and the sky above; a true blessing and I started to feel gratitude again – my thoughts became more positive.  

It took him a while but a year later, in the following March, E started swimming regularly with me and hasn’t stopped since. This began our mutual love of Petit Bot and we have swum there regularly ever since, sometimes daily depending on our schedules and the extent of the shore break, which seems to have gotten worse over the years! 

I swam in the sea throughout both my pregnancies, swimming the day before both boys were born. I was back in the sea as soon as I was out of hospital too, albeit I wasn’t able to swim as I had to have Caesarean sections for each of them. I wasn’t meant to be submerged in water, but I just needed to cleanse my energy and stand in the sea up to my waist, feeling its coolness and hearing its sounds; grounding and soothing after the trauma of birth!

Both our boys, Elijah and Eben, have fairly much grown up at Petit Bot! I remember the first time we took Elijah, fresh out of hospital and both of us going into the sea at the same time, as we’d done so many times previously, him in his car seat sat up on the pebbles at the top of the beach. We suddenly realised that this probably wasn’t appropriate, a helpless baby left on his own on the beach. It was just such a bizarre concept for us both, and this began our tag team effort, taking it in turns to swim ever since.

We’ve many photos of the boys on Petit Bot in various stages of development, car seats to crawling, toddling to running, and now climbing the rocks! We’ve seen the beach at all stages of tide, in all weathers and all times of the year; we know it well and love it dearly, there’s something special about knowing a beach. Our favourite time of year is October, when the summer visitors have left and the dog walkers are yet to arrive; we’re pretty much guaranteed to have it to ourselves. But we do have it to ourselves a lot of the time, especially early in the morning, and we’re always grateful for this.

We were tickled last year to be gifted, quite by chance, a Guernsey calendar, and were quite surprised to find a photo of us for the month of January (the person who gave the calendar to us didn’t realise this!). I contacted the photographer and she said she had met a friend at Petit Bot the previous January and had seen us walking down the beach, me carrying Eben in a car seat, and Elijah and E walking beside me, about to go for a swim, and thought it looked a lovely family scene. She kindly gave us a copy of the photograph, which I’ve posted above.

Growing up on the West coast of Guernsey and spending much of my time on Vazon beach, knowing that beach like a second home, it has been lovely getting to know more of the South coast of this stunning Island I’m lucky to call home. More recently I’ve been swimming at Saints with a small group of ladies, perhaps three or four times a week, on the way to drop Elijah to school in the morning – he loves it as he can climb the rocks and get some fresh air before going in the classroom. 

This has added a whole new dimension to sea swimming, allowing me to connect with another beach, and one that needs to be approached on foot (or bike in our case) so is even more private than Petit Bot, attracting a couple of other sea swimming groups; the sunrise can be spectacular in the winter months. Also, it has caused me to develop a beautiful relationship with the other ladies, brought together by our love of sea swimming and spending time outdoors in nature. 

We might swim at Fermain sometimes too, especially on a full moon, where we howl at her rising ahead of us, sometimes skinny dipping, sometimes not. I have to say though, that this is my favourite way to sea swim, it doesn’t get more natural and uplifting than skinny dipping and winter is the best time for this, at least you’re less likely to bump into anyone else coming to the beach!

I should make the point though, that these days I’m rarely in the sea for long. I used to swim maybe 5-10 minutes or so in the winter months, but a few years ago I started to get really cold afterwards, not helped because I was in the midst of sleep deprivation and just found it was taking me all day to warm up, not so pleasant. These days, especially in February, I might only be in for a minute or two at most, but even this makes me feel better, and well worth the traipse down to the beach and back up.

I can’t imagine our lives without sea swimming now, it’s become a part of our life, something that we make time to do, which will often determine the rest of our schedule, especially on the weekends. It’s the first thing we do when we have been away from the Island, getting our fix of Guernsey sea on our skin, and a definite if I have been working energetically with people and need to cleanse. It’s amazing and I’m always keen to introduce others to sea swimming so they may feel the benefits for themselves.

 The benefits of sea swimming for me:

 ·     Cleansing my energy;

·     Grounding me in the moment - you don’t think about much else when you’re in the sea, other than how cold it is, how long you might stay in and whether you’ll get caught by the waves.

·     Energising me.

·     Connecting me to nature so that I notice the tides, sunrise and sunset, and seasonal and moon cycles.

·     Feeling like you’re getting away from the rest of the world.

·     Slows life down, you can’t possibly be rushing or stressed on the beach.

·     Listening to the sound of the sea and watching the waves, both of which I find soothing for the soul.

·     Shifting a bad mood!

·     Raising the spirits and easing any depression

·     Reducing anxiety by the connection of feet literally to the earth (well sand really, but you know what I mean) and the sensation of the cold water on skin, getting you out of your head and into your body.

·     Strengthening your immune system – I’m not sure how that works, but I’m pretty sure that sea swimming plays a role in me rarely being ill, I’ve not had a single cold yet this winter (touch wood!). 

·     The special relationship you create with other sea swimmers as you share this mutual love for the sea.

·     It’s free, and the very act of getting onto the beach and getting into the sea and having a little swim is good for your general fitness. 

·     It has strengthened my connection to Guernsey and helped me to feel extremely grateful for living on this beautiful Islands.

·     It makes me feel alive and happy.

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Healing, Yoga Emma Despres Healing, Yoga Emma Despres

Yoga and change

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Nothing brings me greater joy than witnessing yoga students embracing yoga and wanting to further their practice. There’s something about the practice, be it the breath or the postures or the relaxation, that affects them and they feel better for it; there has been a positive change and it motivates them to turn up again and again.

You can’t help but be changed by yoga. Yoga by its very nature encourages change. The way that we see things today does not have to be the way we saw them yesterday, and so it is with yoga too. The way we feel today, after a yoga practice, may feel very different to how we felt yesterday when we didn’t practice, and sometimes the way we feel after each practice changes too.

Some days we may feel positively elated, joyful, ecstatic, and other days we may feel tired and emotional. Yoga can bring stuff up for us. We might start to notice aches, pains and tensions in the body and mind that we hadn’t noticed previously. We might notice behaviour patterns and the manner in which we hold on to thoughts, notions and concepts, some well outdated and no longer serving us.

Sometimes the changes that yoga brings can be challenging. The painful emotions are confronting and the awareness of how much our life is out of a balance can be too much for some, so they stop coming to class. As much as they might like their lives to change, the change itself is too scary and they’d rather maintain the status quo however uncomfortable that is.

Others have no choice but to keep coming, there’s no going back for them now, the changes, however uncomfortable, are less uncomfortable than maintaining the status quo, of remaining the same. The body and mind have made it perfectly clear to them that there is a way out, that there is a chance of a new beginning, of a better way of living, of feeling something that’s more positive than the way they have been feeling, of hope for a future that they had almost given up on. There is a chance…

The joy of yoga, is that if we take the leap, if we overcome the obstacle of fear that prevents the change, if we listen to the body, to that ache and pain, and we keep practicing, well then then yoga will hold us while the changes are being made. Perhaps we need to let go of a destructive relationship or a draining friendship, perhaps we need to change jobs or professions to align yourself more fully with our talents, perhaps we need to leave a situation in which we have a vested interest. Yoga will help us through all of this and more. 

Yoga is not to be saved for when we feel in a good place in our lives, or comfortable in our own skin (“I’ll come back when I’ve lost weight”, “you’ll see me when I’m not so tired”), yoga is for when we are in the nitty gritty thick of it, when we are on our knees, when we can barely get through a day, when we can’t stop crying, when the anxiety has become acute and overwhelming, when we can barely look at ourselves in the mirror, when we are lost and alone and fearful. This is when we need yoga the most.

Yoga does not need to look a certain way. Yoga doesn't care at all what you look like, what you’re wearing, whether you’ve brushed your hair, or are wearing make-up, whether you are fat or thin. Yoga couldn’t care about any of this. It just cares if you showed up today. If some part of you managed to make it onto your mat, even if you spent the session (as I’ve done many, many times) in tears, breathing from one pose to the next through your mouth because your nose is too snotty and you have to keep stopping to let the tears drop onto your mat, and wait until you can connect again with your body and breath and move into another posture, a momentary respite before the emotional wave crashes in again.

There’s this wonderful saying about people coming into your life for ‘a reason, a season or a lifetime’. I see this in yoga. People come in for their reason, for their season, or for their lifetime. I’ve lost count of the number of people I’ve seen supported by yoga as they make a life change and then I don’t see them again. But this doesn’t matter, because they have allowed yoga to change them, the practice has given them the strength to make those changes.

 Others drift in and out, being touched, but not allowing the practice to touch them enough, and others, once they have a taste of change, are in it for the long run, it makes them feel better and it helps support them in their daily lives through thick and thin. Yoga is there for a reason, for a season and for a lifetime, you’ve just got to get practicing and see what it brings. 

 As Desikachar writes in his book, The Heart of Yoga, “The body and mind are used to certain patterns of perception and these tend to change gradually through yoga practice. It is said in the Yoga Sūtra that people alternately experience waves of clarity and cloudiness when first beginning a yoga practice. That is, we go through periods of clarity followed by times in which our mind and perception are quite lacking in clarity. Over time there will be less cloudiness and more clarity. Recognising this shift is a way to measure our progress”.

Perhaps it is this that changes us the most, the ability to see more clearly our truth, and to experience a greater sense of who we are, underneath the layers of illusion and false notions that we have adopted over the years. It always makes me think of the famous quote accredited to Gandhi, “Be the change you’d like to see in the world”. This is yoga. You cannot help but be changed into the change you’d most like to see in the world. Yoga changes us, and usually for the better.

We shouldn’t be scared by the change that yoga brings. Yoga just asks us to look at our lives more honestly, helping to open ourselves up to our potential for living a life beyond our wildest dreams. All it asks of us is to keep turning up and practicing, that’s all. “Practice, practice, practice and all is coming”, Sri. K. Pattabhi Jois is accredited for having said. It has become a little of a mantra for me over the years. This not to be attached to the fruits of our labours, but as a reason to keep turning up on the mat, day after day, year after year. Just keep practicing and let yoga reveal itself to you as you your-self are revealed. 

My life has changed beyond recognition since I found yoga. Yoga saved my life. I’ve changed so that I don’t really recognise the old me, the before-yoga Emma. I’m not sure who that person was, but she wasn’t me, she was lost and depressed, paranoid and at times anxious, lacking in any sense of true self or self- confidence, soul fragmented. The yoga path has not always been easy, there have been many tears and healing crises along the way, but each practice has sparked something in me, helped the light to glow a little brighter, helped to make me whole, and it is this that has always motivated me and spurred me on.

I love it when I see this light lit in others too, because I know that it has a ripple effect. You being changed changes those around you, your family, your friends, your colleagues, they all start glowing a little brighter because something in you sparks something in them. It is in this way that yoga is changing the world one person at a time. Embrace the fear of change, and let yoga hold you, be the change you’d most like to see in the world – the one where fear is replaced with love. Love will continue to come back to you.

 

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Ramblings Emma Despres Ramblings Emma Despres

The electric cargo bike and my increased wellbeing!

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Investing in our electric cargo bike was a life changing moment for me towards the end of 2019, because little did I realise at the time how much I was positively investing into my general wellbeing.

2019 was a tough year, and I wasn’t feeling my most positive in autumn, when a bright orange electric cargo bike caught my attention from the window of our local bike shop.

 I had been cycling my eldest son, Elijah (who is 6 years old), to school on my non-electric mountain bike, pulling him in a trailer behind me, but this was becoming increasingly hard work physically. We live at the top of a hill, and while the school is only 6 minutes away by car, or 10 minutes by bike, I was growing weary of the journey, sometimes repeated three times a day as Elijah comes home for lunch. 

As the weather grew colder, drearier and wetter, the less inclined I was to use my mountain bike and trailer, and the more I started driving instead. But this made me miserable, not least because parking around the school can be challenging, and the traffic is sometimes a little testing too (by Guernsey standards!), but because I missed the fresh air and exercise. I’m also conscious of the environmental impact of using the car and this depressed me!

The electric cargo bike seemed to call to me from my car every time I drove past the bike shop, and before I thought about it too much, I booked to hire it for a few days, to see how it might work for us. It worked well! We loved it! I was amazed how much better it made me feel, and now that I had the electric motor I had absolutely no excuse not to use it regardless of the weathers – the wetter the better, because it made the experience even more fun!

Despite the cost, I therefore had no hesitation in ordering one and I haven’t looked back since!  I think everyone should have one, especially here on Guernsey, because they are almost made for Island living.

These are the other reasons I love our bike:

  • They help you to get really fit. For me the bike is a mode of transport as opposed to an opportunity for ‘exercise’ and yet the by-product of using it all the time is that I’ve gotten fit. Some people believe electric bikes are just for old people and don’t think you have to put in any effort. Wrong! You can make it as challenging as you like, you just turn off the electric motor, but even with it on, you still have to peddle! 

  • We can easily nip down to Saints Bay for a play on the beach/sea swim before school, without having to worry about parking, before zooming back up the hill (yes, all three of us up Saints hill, no problem) to the school, and again no parking issues.

  • I feel even more connected to nature than I did previously, and on the days that I have no cause to use the bike, I try and find any excuse I can to get out on it, even if it is just to nip to the shop, to get some fresh air and have the opportunity to notice the changing skies and landscape. 

  • Talking of which, we shop on the bike too, because it has huge paniers than we can fill with a whole family’s worth of shopping. We can also fill it with a plethora of beach toys when we go down to the beach.

  • I can even use the bike to get to yoga classes, filling the panniers and the cargo bit with bags of props and mats, absolutely no problem. 

  • The front and back lights are really strong and I have no qualms cycling at night, with or without the children, I’ve done both, and it’s really rather lovely because we look for owls and watch the stars and the moon, and we’ve even cycled at night in the pouring rain too.

  • In the long run I have no doubt it will be saving me money. It doesn’t cost much by way of electricity to charge the battery (you’ve just got to remember to charge it otherwise it is a challenging cycle, especially with two children on the back!) and I am saving myself my previously weekly petrol bill. 

  • I use the cargo bike on journeys I might not have used for my non electric bike previously. I think nothing of using this one to whizz to my parents, or down into town, or out to the cliffs. I now choose the bike over the car. I used to love driving but not anymore!

  • My stress levels have reduced significantly, not least from the exercising and fresh air (and being in nature), but from not having to drive (this elevates my stress levels!) and not having to get my children into their car seats, especially my youngest, which used to be a daily battle and often meant that we were then rushing to get to school or appointments on time.

  • My overall sense of wellbeing has increased. I feel so much better within myself because of the manner in which it has positively affected my mental wellbeing and lifted my previous depression (at the thought of the school run). It’s like sea swimming, just makes you feel better, more positive somehow. 

  • Peace! It’s peaceful on the bike. No radio, no Dirty Bertie or Percy Park Keeper audios, no children bickering or moaning. You get to hear the sounds of nature, the bird song, water in the streams on the way down to Saints or Petit Bot, for example. Admittedly there’s still the sounds of the traffic, but when you get off the main roads this quietens.

  • The bike is better for the environment than using a car and is teaching my children about other modes of transport available to them. 

  • Using the bike helps to calm the general traffic so other road users benefit (studies have shown that bikes on the roads help to calm the traffic and make the roads safer for cyclists to use).

  • We notice the litter much more now and have started going wombling to collect the litter. I never used to notice it when I was in the car, or at least, I might notice it but do nothing about it. Now I feel a need to do something about it. [Look out for details of our next collective wombling session by the way, let’s clean up this island together, collectively!]

  • It’s so much fun! We absolutely enjoy going out on the bikes. The boys will choose the bike over the car. Using the bike makes us all happy and there is no doubt that it increases our general sense of wellbeing.

The reasons we don’t like the bike:

None! We love the bike!

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Emma Despres Emma Despres

Littering ourselves: littering the world

This is the collection of litter that Elijah and I picked up off one lane on the way home from school today.

There is no doubt that much of it came from the same source, probably thrown out of the car on the way home from town.

This just further helps to support my notion that those who pollute their bodies with rubbish, think nothing of polluting the land with rubbish either.

There was a time, a long time ago may I add, when I used to eat take away food after a night out drinking too much alcohol in town! This was back in the day when i smoked cigarettes and didn’t really care much for my body. I also didn’t care much for the environment either.

Fortunately times have changed and I have noticed a direct correlation between me caring more about my body and what I put into and onto it, and about my caring for the environment too. We are the micro of the macro, and this to me has always proved it.

This is one of the many reasons that I am so passionate about yoga, because it helps us to awaken to our bodies and to treat them with more respect, it also helps us to awaken to the wider world around us and to appreciate that our every action has a consequence and with that we have a responsibility.

We have a responsibility not only to ourselves and to our families and the community within which we live, but to the wider world as a whole. Everything we do, every thought we think, it all has an impact somewhere, on someone and on something. There is much truth in the saying, “choose your thoughts wisely, for they are the energy that create your life”.

This is another reason why it is so important we are aware of the manner in which we litter our minds with stuff that we see or hear, be that on Facebook or television, or from other people. It all has an impact on how we think and how we feel, and not always positively, diminishing our energy and numbing our minds.

So it’s not just takeaways and poor food choices that pollute us, but our experience of the world around us and how we digest (or don’t digest) this, and what we hold on to, energetically or otherwise, polluting the way we feel and impacting on the quality of our lives.

I can’t help thinking (ha!) that it is only by healing and cleaning ourselves up, becoming more conscious of our thoughts and those to which we give energy (reducing the litter that we take in and hold on to from our past), as well as the diet that we eat, that we will help to heal and clean this planet.

Of course we can pick litter up, that might help, doing what we can, one day at a time, to help clean up this planet and you might find that the more you care for the planet, the more you might care for yourself, it works both ways. It might also be helpful if polystyrene takeaway packaging was banned!

Love to the planet!

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