Even after all this time...

Well I have to say that I have grown increasingly weary and frustrated by lockdown and the general reaction to Covid.

I retreated last week as my cycle waned, and the dark moon did indeed bring with it a dark night of the soul, which continued on and on, allowing me to truly feel into all the rage and anger and grief that it brought with it. This wasn’t even mine necessarily, and it’s the first time I have truly felt this through my own cycle, old old wounds, from life times ago, and it wasn’t just mine, but the collective too. We women especially are right in the thick of it.

There was an old feeling of powerlessness that always underlaid my bouts of depression and there was even older feelings of powerlessness that were from times gone by that I don’t even consciously remember, yet there are memories, and this Scaravelli-yoga, or maybe the TM, I don’t know, maybe it’s just the time, but there is a whole other portal that has been opened. Jeez.

Ordinarily, if I read something like this, I’d be like ‘whatever’, but I couldn’t ignore it. It’s there and it’s very real. Power. Powerlessness, and something, something about the Goddess trying to poke through. I’m pretty sure you’re probably feeling it too if you’re reading this. And if not, and you think me mad, then you’re probably right about that too.

Because I have been feeling as if I may be going mad, simply because my mind just doesn’t seem to function the way that other people’s minds do. Simply because I just do not get it. I can’t understand it. My mind is blown by the fact the UK Government is pumping an additional £84m into this Covid vaccine. We’ve still not managed to vaccinate against the common cold, we still have flu, we still even have polio and how many years have we been vaccinating against that now, let alone meningitis, and all these others diseases that still exist, that we still haven’t managed to overcome, that we live with.

Nowhere do I hear any talk about the immune system, and I keep wondering why we aren’t putting more money into health education, teaching about the immune system and how we might promote its functioning. It’s like we’ve forgotten that we even have one, that within us is the capacity to protect against illness, and this amazing body that can heal. The only time people generally talk about the immune system is when it isn’t functioning properly, and we have heard a lot about this recently.

It doesn’t help I suppose that people pay it such little attention and will allow things to be injected or ingested in their body that aggravate it, let alone all the negative thinking and the external pollutants that we subject ourselves too, some by choice and some not, and all the while the trees get cut down, we lose more of nature and her medicine and her ability to help us heal, not only through her medicinal qualities but just by being in her - the chemicals that she gives to us, the good chemicals, not the bad ones that are sprayed on our food through mass farming and that we ingest into our bodies, on top of all the stuff that has already been injected into us and all that stress…

And on I go. The rage was in full swing about this and all other sorts of injustices. The people dying through loneliness and poverty, those unable to obtain diagnoses for cancers and other diseases and ailments because the whole world has stood still by a virus. A virus! The world is full of viruses. There are always going to be viruses. But now. Now we have a war on the virus. A war! Why do governments always need to declare wars?! Why do we always need to be fighting something? Why can’t we just live in blinking harmony with one another, each other, with viruses for goodness sake?!

Then there’s the bubbles! Ah, if I hear much more about bubbles then I think I will truly lose my mind. Only a few months ago, public transport was encouraged, now we shouldn’t go on it. We are trying to move away from plastic, yet now I don’t suppose anyone cares too much what material is used for PPE, or how it is disposed of, as long as it protects them from the virus. It’s all so confusing. As for the children. I read that in Denmark, children back at school are being asked to wash their hands so much that they are now getting eczema and skin complaints.

Then there’s the social distancing of children in schools. And here I’m curious about the products used to deep clean the schools each week, the same schools that our children will be shut into, to avoid Covid. And this when there are currently 4 known cases on an Island with a population of approximately 60k. Yes I know, I know that Covid is very infectious and can kill, but come on, look at the collateral damage, there are so many people suffering in so many ways that we cannot even begin to imagine or put statistics to it.

The mental health alone? I don’t know that I’ve talked to many people recently (online or social distancing may I add) who haven’t alluded to the fact they have had enough that mentally they are just about holding it together, and that’s mainly because they are drinking wine as a form of self-medication. How is it possible to maintain a full time job and educate your children? And this with the relentless shopping, oh my goodness, there’s no joy in this world anymore, even shopping has become a laborious process of queues and trying to socially distance, which is so tricky in a shopping environment.

But it is more than all that. It is about feeling powerless to live the life that I would choose to live. This is where the rage came from last week. We always get to choose the thoughts we think. But we don’t always get to choose what we can do with the time that we have available to us. Normally we do, but lockdown has thrown that out the window too. Someone else has been deciding what we can and can’t do with our time, and when they live from a different perspective to your own, then it is tough to just go with the flow, because you are not able to live aligned to your own deep values.

And yes of course, there’s this spiritual lessons of living with uncertainty, of being present, of quite literally just going with the flow of things, but, but, well she doesn’t much like that. Her power is taken away, just like it was taken away eons ago, there is still a very raw wound. A very real wound. I know that I am not the only woman feeling it now too.

So I raged and I despaired and I moaned a lot to E, and I tended to my plants and I got out into nature as much as I could, because nature is our healer and our centerer, and I felt much better once the dark night, or nights in this case, had come to pass, and I could see more clearly that it doesn't matter what I think, or what I say, only that I live my life with integrity and in harmony with the world around me, and with my family and with viruses. That the rest of the world with all its craziness will carry anon. And I send Reiki to that and those too.

The Goddess is calling. She’s moving deep from the land into the root and up through the pelvis and into the solar plexus, awaiting her transformation. She is transformation! We are being reminded, of that which is important (and it isn’t what we have been told or ‘sold’ - it certainly isn’t the best bikini-clad yoga body, anymore than it is the 6 figure salary, for example). It’s there for us to discover, if we are listening and it is really rather delightful in its simplicity.

But still I’m feel that my mind is broke, because so many are still asleep. This is what pains me the most. Even after all this time…

Even 
After 
All this time
The Sun never says to the Earth,

"You owe me."

Look
What happens
With a love like that,
It lights the whole sky.”

― Hafi

Even after all this time…we’re still looking in all the wrong places and missing what is right under our noses.

With love

Emma x

Manipura - The Navel Chakra

This chakra is extremely complex.  It is the chakra of the mind, ruling rational thought, discernment and individuality.  Yet it is also a very physical chakra, governing the digestive system, liver and spleen as well as the back.  It is the chakra from which our moral judgements emerge, and from which we draw the moral courage to stand up for what we believe in.

 Manipura is known as the solar plexus or navel centre, and is situated at the umbilicus. It is in close association with the coelic or solar plexus. It is related to the element of fire. When the basic needs of the first and second chakras are satisfied, then another factor appears in the third chakra, Manipura, which is power. In the lowest chakra, matter meets with matter. In the second chakra woman meets with man. In the third, leader meets with follower.

The Sanskrit name, Manipura, can translate as ‘jewel in the city’ and the jewel it refers to is the mind.  When our solar plexus chakra is in balance, our mind is also in balance.  We are in control of ourselves and the challenges and decisions that we face in life.   As well as being warm in nature, people with balanced solar plexus chakras tend to have a healthy intuition, they can generally rely on their hunches or ‘gut instincts’, and they can express themselves well.

With a balanced solar plexus we are also discerning, disciplined and assertive, and we face life’s challenges with courage and integrity.  Our ego will no longer need continual gratification.  We will discover a moderation in thought and action; we are able to listen to people without being overwhelmed by them.  We instinctively find a comfortable relationship with the world.  Our character becomes gemlike: solid, multifaceted and filled with life.

The fire in this chakra gives us our ‘glow’, burnishes our ego, and illuminates our mind; it helps us to see the world around us clearly.  This fire also creates the necessary heat for the metabolism of food, cellular transactions and thought. We will feel greater self-respect, self-compassion, and be assertive and confident. 

On the other hand, an overly dominant solar plexus leads to bullying, egotistical and aggressive behaviour.  These people believe they are always right and get angry easily, and seek to control others through their anger. A weak solar plexus chakra results in depression, guilt and lack of confidence; it becomes hard for us to see our life clearly, leading to feelings of heightened vulnerability.

Because the solar plexus is the centre of the intellect and decision-making, it is important for the health and development of this chakra that we make our own choices, rather than have them made for us.  The development of the solar plexus is hindered if we have a feeling of powerlessness in life.

We can have, be and do anything we choose in our life, anything, we just have to choose wisely and believe in ourselves – we shouldn’t settle for second best.  This chakra is a powerful receiver and transmitter of energy, as we give, so we receive, so balance is essential here.  

If we are giving out feelings of being a failure then this will be reflected straight back at us. If we give out feelings of being a success then this will be reflected straight back at us.  Give to ourselves first and foremost otherwise we won’t have anything to give to others.

Physical imbalances include digestive problems, liver dysfunction, stomach ulcers, chronic fatigue, high blood pressure, diabetes, pancreas and gallbladder issues and colon disease. Emotional imbalances include issues of personal power and self-esteem, fears of rejection and criticism, and anxiety about physical appearances.

There are a few practical things we can do to help to energise/balance this area including:

 ·       Wearing yellow;

·       Wearing/holding amber, citrine, and/or yellow aventurine;

·       Ayurveda and following Ayurvedic diet and lifestyle choices to promote healthy digestion and balanced digestive fire;

·       Scaravelli-inspired yoga, with its emphasis on self-compassion and truly honouring the body’s wisdom;

·       Reiki;

·       Gentle massage around the navel centre using a base oil to suit such as coconut oil;

·       Doing things that are joyful and fun;

·       Weeding, planting and growing – getting your hands in the earth and being in nature;

·       Resting, enjoying a Yoga Nidra for example;

·       Gentle exercise.

·       Abdominal breathing;

·       Burning sage;

·       Watching sunset/sunrise (just be aware whether sunrise might over stimulate);

·       Listening to beautiful music.

Colour: yellow

Element: Fire

Sense organ: Eyes

Yantra: Ram

 Bija seed Mantra: The red triangular mandala at its centre contain the primordial element of fire. It has ten petals

Related plexus and organs: coeliac or solar plexus and pancreas

Balanced attributes: Greater self-worth and self-respect, self-compassion, confidence, learn from mistakes, healthy boundaries, personal power, assertive and confident, divine will.

Examples of possible chakra deficiency or excess: Feeling overwhelmed and at mercy of fate, loneliness, ego centred, digestive disorders, issues of personal power and self-esteem, fears of rejection, criticism, anxiety about physical appearances. 

Swadhisthana - The Sacral Chakra

The sacral chakra is orange, and balances the red of the physical energy with the yellow of the mental energy. It is known as Swadhisthana in Sanskrit, the chakra of procreation. It is situated in between the genitals, about two inches below the navel. This chakra is related to the element of water and is related to the sense organ of the tongue.  

This chakra is the most feminine of the seven chakras.  It is profoundly connected with fertility and is ruled by the moon, which pulls not only the seas and oceans, but also the waters within our own bodies.  

 The sacral chakra is the seat of creativity and is linked to taste in the broadest sense – our likes and dislikes.  It is also the seat of our emotions and is closely linked to pleasure, attraction and, in particular, sexuality.

When this chakra is out of balance nothing and no one is ever enough.  Life has no constancy.  We feel fragmented and volatile.  Our desires dominate and oblige us to seek satisfaction through the senses – sex, food, material possessions, status.  An out-of-balance sacral chakra brings about guilt, self-pity, manipulative behaviour and envy. 

If the chakra is too open, we may forget our own needs and occupy so much with the needs of others that we end up feeling like a martyr.  Lack of balance can also give rise to sexual/fertility problems, jealousy and obsession.

Physical imbalances may include sexual and reproductive issues, urinary problems including kidney dysfunctions, hip, pelvic and lower back pain. Emotional imbalances include an inability to commit to relationships, failure to express emotions, fears of impotence and betrayal and addictions. 

A balanced sacral chakra is characterised by physical fluidity and grace. People with a balanced sacral chakra tend to be friendly, open and trusting, in touch with their feelings and able to express them, willing to see the positive rather than the negative, and able to turn problems into challenges.

People with a balanced sacral chakra also feel able to take risks, they are in touch with their creativity, have no fear of commitment, are passionate about life, sexually confident and outgoing. 

In essence, it is sexual expression – the most powerful and fundamental of our creative energies - that characterises the sacral chakra.  It guides our sexual identity, our ability to bond with a partner and to take pleasure in our sexuality.  

When in balance it gives us profound sexual and emotional happiness.  It is worth reflecting that the word ‘sacral’ comes from the same root as ‘sacred’.  Sex is not meant to be a casual, meaningless event, but nor is it meant to induce guilt.  Rather with openness and empathy, it is something that brings great joy and pleasure – the lover meets the beloved on the physical plane. 

If we are not using this energy internally then we need to be expressing our sacral energy externally through writing, drawing, painting, singing, anything that encourages our creativity and encourages the energy to flow strongly and smoothly.  

 This chakra is situated in the bowl of the pelvis, directly over the ovaries and testes.  It governs the spleen, reproductive organs, kidneys, bladder and all the bodily fluids.  In order to find lightness and balance in this chakra we must seek to balance the pelvis. 

 There are a few practical things we can do to help to energise/balance this area including:

·       Wearing orange;

·       Movement, this area of the body loves movement, so get moving!;

·       Yoni yoga is a blessing for this chakra, getting in touch with your inner goddess;

·       Connecting with the moon and noticing how her cycles affect how you feel;

·       Connecting with your menstrual cycle if you are menstruating, or your cycles post-menopausal (‘Code Red’ by Lisa Lister is a helpful read, also anything by Alexandra Pope, Dr Christiane Northrup and Uma Dinsmore-Tuli);

·       Ayurveda, especially if you are experiencing menstrual, fertility issues or menopausal issues; 

·       Reiki;

·       Journaling as a way of expressing your feelings and emotions;

·       Water, bathing in water, with some essential oils, particularly ylang ylang and neroli;

·       Massaging this area of the body, using oils, coconut oil or another carrier oil, perhaps using essential oils (patch test first);

·       Sage, burn sage to cleanse your energy;

·       Holding, wearing or putting carnelian in your pocket can also help. 

·       Dipping in the White Spring at Glastonbury and visiting any ancient sites of the Goddess;

·       Prioritising time to do what you enjoy doing – those things you feel passionate about;

·       Honouring your body and this area of the body especially – seeing the sacred in it, not giving it away.

·       Taking steps to address any sexual abuse or trauma.

Colour: Orange

Element: Water

Sense organ: Tongue

Yantra: A white crescent moon at its centre and six petals

Bija seed mantra: Vam

Related plexus and organs: Upper hypogastric plexus and ovaries and adrenal glands.

Balanced attributes: Creative, adaptable, flexible, delight in pleasure and life’s gifts.

Examples of possible chakra deficiency or excess: Feeling of separation, creative blocks, compulsive behaviour, arrogance.

Muladhara - the root/base chakra

The root chakra is red in the visible spectrum red has the longest wavelength. It is called Muladhara in Sanskrit, also known as the root centre. It is situated in the perineum, at the base of the spinal column. This chakra is related to the element of earth, and the sense organ is the nose.

This is the chakra of survival. We need food, water and air to survive. We also need sleep and shelter to fulfil our basic needs. In this root chakra there is sex energy. This is the chakra of material existence. It is also the grounding chakra, the one that connects us to the earth and our own physicality. 

Muladhara chakra is our source of stability and grounding that comes from deep connection to the earth and to our roots.  When it is out of balance this affects everything related to our personal stability, safety and security.  It controls how we deal with money, our body and our family: our roots.

An imbalanced root chakra, which is low in vital energy may mean that we may experience emotional imbalances and suffer from low self-esteem, feel out of touch with our body and sexuality, we may constantly worry about money, never feel satisfied with our work or home and have issues around food. It can also lead to self-destructive or addictive behaviour such as eating disorders, smoking, drug taking etc.

It can also cause illnesses such as degenerative arthritis, knee pain, lower back pain, depression, sciatica, constipation and issues with male reproductive parts and the prostate gland. There may be problems in the legs, feet, rectum, tailbone and immune system generally.  

On the other hand, a root chakra which is imbalanced by being too strong can lead to isolation, materialism, bullying behaviour or selfishness.

When this chakra is balanced we feel supported, grounded, physically secure in the physical world, confident, connected, and healthy and happy with our body and sexuality. We trust the universe to take care of us and the world does not seem a scary place to live. We begin to realise that just for today we have a roof over our head, food on the table and some money in our pocket. Life is great – all our primary needs are met.

Physically, the root chakra is located at the base of the spine between the pubic bones, tailbone and sitting bones.  Its centre is the perineum, in the middle of the pelvic floor between the anus and genitals.  

The pelvic floor is influenced and affected by the muscles of the legs and the feet. The integrity of the pelvic floor depends on the proper alignment of the legs and the balance of the feet, which act like the roots of a plant.  We need our feet and legs to be alive and balanced in order to find grounding and stability.

There are a few practical things we can do to help to energise this area including:

·       Wearing red, especially red socks;

·       Eat grounding and warming foods such as soups;

·       Hugging trees;

·       Getting hands in the earth, planting, weeding, growing vegetables and flowers etc;

·       Walk barefoot on the earth or on the beach;

·       Sea swimming;

·       Spending time in nature connecting with the earth can also make a huge difference;

·       Yoga;

·       Reiki;

·       Ayurveda;

·       Holding, wearing or putting red jasper in your pocket can also help. 

In short, to build a solid life, we need a solid base.

Colour: Red

Element: Earth

Sense organ: Nose

Yantra: It has in its centre a triangle, from which the sushsumna begins and which (the sushsumna) end at the top of the head, has four crimson-coloured petals. 

Bija seed mantra: Lam 

Related plexus and organs: Sacral, coccygeal plexus and testes

Balanced attributes: Stamina, vitality, physical health, patience, ability to manifest dreams, inner security.

 Possible chakra deficiency or excess: lack of energy, little enthusiasm, obsessive worrying, impatience, hyperactivity.

The Chakras

I love working with the chakras, it has underpinned my work for many years now and I am always keen to share them with others, be that through yoga, Reiki and/or Ayurveda. I thought it about time that I blogged about them again, in case they should be of interest to you, or you might learn something helpful or interesting by exploring more of your own chakra system.

Basically, the chakras are wheels of energy that form the energy system in the human body. There are seven of them in total (the magic seven!), and they are responsible for overall health, providing a sense of mental, physical, emotional and spiritual well-being. 

The chakras are also junctions of consciousness (mind) and the physical body, nourishing particular organs and controlling various psycho-physiological pathways. They are responsible for transporting neuro-electrical and spiritual energies of the spinal cord and also for conveying stimuli from the higher centres (for example the brain, pituitary gland) to the lower organs.

Furthermore, the chakras correlate with the endocrine system (hormone system) and therefore a chakra imbalance will present as a problem within the endocrine system e.g. thyroid gland or ovaries etc. The endocrine imbalance happens as a result of chakra imbalance, not the other way around, and therefore you are always encouraged to get to the energetic imbalance if you hope to heal the physical manifestation of that imbalance.

An imbalance in a chakra is created by an obstruction in the energy flow. This might be caused by deep buried memories within the subconscious mind from childhood trauma, or from tension build up at the chakras, which can affect posture, metabolism, emotional state and breathing for example. Physical ailments may develop by the chronic repeated obstruction to energy flow. 

When one chakra is blocked, the other chakras begin to compensate and either become overactive or under-active and you might start to notice issues arising here too. That’s the reason it is so important to truly get to the root cause of any physical complaint and consider the energetic imbalance. 

This can be addressed through yoga, Reiki and Ayurveda. In many respects I have found Ayurveda to be the most powerful modality, because it works not only through diet and lifestyle, but incorporates massage, yoga asana and pranayama too, working on physical, mental, emotional, spiritual and energetic levels simultaneously.  Like with any holistic approach to healing, you will need to take responsibility and do the work, no one can do it for you. Plus it can take time!

I think this is often the greatest obstacle to our healing. We have a tendency to want the quick fix approach, forgetting that it may have taken years of living out of balance with our innate wisdom which has led to our loss of wellbeing in the first place.  It will take time and it will demand our attention, if we truly wish to heal, then we must be prepared to look into the shadows and reclaim those fragmented and lost parts of self. We have to be truthful with our selves. 

This is the reason I love working with the chakras though, because the transformation is very real, and deep, you can’t get much deeper than working energetically, because this underpins everything, and connects us through all our lifetimes, so that past life stuff can come up too. It’s all in there! The more you work with the chakras the more life makes sense and the more you can live a life of freedom and genuine sustained contentment. 

The root chakra will follow…

xxx

Power and the deep feminine

That was most definitely a potent full moon and I am only now clearer about what it was ushering in. There was most definitely a play on power, and you might have felt that in your own lives too.

I definitely felt a sense of powerlessness with the way that life is currently unfolding and it is only now I recognise the reason for the kidney and liver pain that has accompanied this. The kidneys because of deep rooted fear of not being able to touch or to use holistic therapies to heal (as these rely so heavily on human touch). I feel as if ancestral and past life wounds were touched, around Wicca and the deep memory of the persecution of healers (the witch hysteria during the mid 1400s ).

There was anger in this too, then, for this Wiccan history, and also for the collateral damage of trying to protect the vulnerable from Covid-19 and yet creating so much more suffering and vulnerability in the process. There is a thin line and I don’t envy anyone having to manage this, but I do feel as if a perspective shift is required. The state has done such a good job in conditioning (and controlling) everyone to (through) fear, that now it has a huge job on its hands to condition everyone that life is again safe to be lived.

There is a fear that for those of us who teach yoga or in some way offer our hand to heal, will not be able to do so, in the flesh, for a long time to come. Yet I know that in every ending is a new beginning and I take comfort in this. I am grateful that yoga and Reiki can be shared distantly, albeit it is not the same as physical touch, but at least there is the option. Plus I know that healing can come in so many ways, and I recognise in my own life how this pause, and this space, has revealed other things to me.

I keep returning to Rebecca Campbell’s marvellous quote about all this, well about letting go really, which is what this is all about, and how the power comes into it too, because I have a feeling that this is where it’s at really, coming to understand the nature of power, beyond labels and this idea of being someone. There has been so much emphasis these last few years for women, especially within yoga, to step into their power, and yet I can’t help thinking that we have been attempting to do so while still ignoring the deep feminine.

“In order for the new to arrive, we must first allow the old to shatter. Sometimes this happens on its own. And sometimes it requires that we do the smashing. To tear apart what we’ve built because things have changed, including you. To admit that while it once was aligned, now it no longer is. This shattering requires both courage and faith. Courage to let go and faith that the pieces will come back together again in a way that was more aligned than it was before” Rebecca Campbell

I’m not sure that the deep feminine, the inner witch, the healer, the carer, the mother, the grandmother, the wisdom keeper, I don’t know that she needed to be any more than what she was. She didn’t need to be on a pedestal, or splashed across social media, nor rushing around the world sharing her wisdom. She was contented to live it and share it with those who sought her, not because she was ‘someone’, but because she was her-self. There was a sacredness to her life and to her offerings too. There was the power, in the sacredness of it all.

I have found the break form social media thus far extremely liberating, empowering. I don’t miss it. It’s refreshing not knowing how others are living, and not concerning myself with it. There is less external noise and more time to be with those who matter the most. It has also freed me in my teaching, to offer what I love and what I have learned over all these years of studying the self, with those who most value it, there is (for me at least and I hope this doesn’t sound arrogant as that is not as it is intended) a deeper sense of the sacred. This too came through with the moon.

There is a re-alignment of power at play and for us women this means that yet more ideas of what this might mean need to drop away. We are entering a new paradigm and the idea of what it means to ‘step into our power’ also needs to change. The joy is that life will create this shift, the universe, the moon, the stars and the planets, they will all play their role to ensure that we have the opportunity to listen.

We might not heed the call, we might not make the space, we might grip on so tightly to how we think it should be, that we don’t hear the whisperings of another way. But the signs will be there anyway, the illness, aches, pains, tensions, the dodgy skin, the irregular period, the people, birds, animals and insects that cross our path, they are all message keepers, if we pay attention.

It’s not easy to pay attention though. Sometimes when working with my teacher, she is asking me to be so attentive that I find it difficult because I have to be very still and very present, and very much inside myself. Yet I know that if I can stay with it, then I will touch something that I cannot touch when life is lived externally, or busy, or noisy. The practice comes in being present and attentive, and this is tricky beyond the yoga mat when there is so much distraction.

Yet I have feeling that this is the power of the deep feminine. It is not about what we might create or produce in the external world (that’s the illusion, the trap), but how life is lived in relation to the self. That’s not so easy to teach, and not so easy to explain, because we all have that wisdom, and it is for us to reveal it to ourselves, given the right conditions.

As I am writing this, and as I searched for the above quote to share with you, I came across this other one, and feel like leaping with joy because while I have read it many times before, I feel as if it is only now I have an embodied sense of it being my truth too. Which means it is possibly yours too. This is where the moon has been taking us. This is the power of the deep feminine and it is not at all what others might have us believe, those making the noise and yet still living from a masculine perspective of results and external adoration.

“The deep Feminine, the mystery of consciousness, She who is life, is longing for our transformation as much as we are. She holds back, allowing us free reign to choose, nudging us occasionally with synchronicities, illness, births and deaths… But when we make space for Her, she rushes into all the gaps, engulfing us with her desire for life and expression. This is what She longs for, this is what we are for: experiencing the Feminine through ourselves. We simply need to slow down, and find where to put our conscious attention. And it is this, this willingness to look again, this willingness to put consciousness onto our places of unconscious, to express what we have always avoided, which starts the process of unblocking, so that She may flow through.” Lucy Pearce

All is well. That we must remember. Power is power is power. Knowing the self is power. Healing the self is power. Retreating into the self is power. Finding courage, that is power. Being still is also power. There are so many ways that we can embrace our power without losing ourselves in the power of it, of trying to be anything other than what we already are, and this, this is the key to true power - and it is found in love, and it is found in surrender, and it is found in vulnerability and it is found in being deeply attentive.

Love Emma x

Noise

We’ve a full moon approaching on Thursday, a Scorpio one too, and the third super moon of this year, so we can expect it to be a little potent, with a sting in her tail!

I’m no expert on these things, and I appreciate that we will all have our truth on this but I feel that we are being asked to look at the noise in our lives and how this prevents us from hearing our own wisdom, and how we might trust in this more than we already do.

Taking a break from social media has been extremely liberating, albeit I am only four days into it. But I have recognised how much noise there is on Facebook especially, and how distracting this can be, allowing us to lose minutes, if not hours of our lives.

But it’s more than that, because for me, I feel as if I have gained more of the magical, more of the mystery, more of that which is kept secret. It is that which cannot be fully known, because to know and to define will limit, and this is limitless. This is the stuff of ancient wisdom which is whispered and spoken, which is heard only when we take the time to listen.

 Life has been so busy for many years. I recognise now in the slower pace of my life, how much my old life was busy for the sake of busy and how much time, and energy, and magic, was lost in the noise of it. There was a fear of what might happen if there was no busyness, as if this would suggest a purposeless life, and this I feared the most. 

Yet now, with less busyness and less noise, of course there is space for the new to come in, the magic that was sat there waiting, but could not move forward because the busyness left no room for it. Magic cannot enter if there is no space for it. It’s a natural lore.

So the death has come to us all. This too is in the field. I have talked about it before. We are all going through our own death and grieving for this, for ways of old, even if they were no longer serving us (as most of them weren’t), we still have to go through a process of letting go, and that’s not easy, or pleasant. 

But there is delight in the uncomfortable of the unknown. Yoga encourages us to sit in the unknown. We’ve been practising for a good old while now. This is time to put the practice into practice and I’m grateful to the practice for holding me as it does, because the letting go process has been a part of this from day one. We already know that nothing in life is certain.

Yet there is so much noise out there trying to bring some certainty to it. Those trying to understand Covid-19 scientifically, those talking about vaccinations as if this alone will ensure a safe future, those in the spiritual fields talking about awakenings and light overcoming the darkness and the separation of fear and everyone trying to make sense of that which is absolutely unknown. No one knows.

Yet we do know, on some deep level we do know. We have wisdom, and we have a truth, and both are magical and unique to each of us, and yet a part of the whole. We are sacred, each of us, and this sacredness connects us deep into the pulse of the universe which is sacred too, and knows only love.

I cannot tell you the reason this is happening for you, or to humanity generally, and it is not my place to tell you because you must feel into it for yourself. This is one of the many gifts of lockdown to me, that it has provided a pause, a gap, an opportunity to notice the noise and to distance myself from it.

This has brought in another gift, in the space that has been created to allow a new path to reveal itself, one that I could never have previously imagined in the noise and the busyness. Yet the greatest gift perhaps, in addition to the re-prioritising of my family and my boys beyond all else, is the gift of the sacred and trusting in that, and thereby letting go of all the old stories that are outdated and limit us.

I have shared this poem a number of times on retreats and it has always brought tears to my eyes, but it is only now that I read it and know it to be true: 

 “Go placidly amid the noise and the haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible without surrender, be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly, and listen to others, even the dull and ignorant; they too have their story. Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love – for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is perennial as the grass. Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you from misfortune. But do not distress yourself with imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labours and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world.” 
― Max Ehrmann, Desiderata: A Poem for a Way of Life

I hope this full moon illuminates that which needs to be known, and you are able to create the space and the peace that you might need to hear that which is spoken to you alone. I also hope that you might have the strength of spirit to let go of that which now needs to go. Hold that part of you that fears gently, as if you would a new born baby, breath and trust.

With love xx

Happy Beltain!

Beltain is the cross-quarter festival of fertility and fire. It celebrates the potency of the earth at this time of year, where nature abounds with life force – she is at her most potent. 

This is the time to be in touch with our own potent life force too, and its power on the physical, spiritual and mystical levels – we are as much a part of nature as the trees, flowers and plants and the more we can live harmoniously, the better for this planet.

Beltain represents the peak of the Spring and the beginning of Summer.  The Beltain energy is one of reverence for all of life, celebrating and honouring the fertility that grows from the union of opposites. It is about the sacredness and power of love and sexual untion and the deepest of connections of the heart and soul.

I love Beltain. I love the energy. I love the potential. I love the potency. I love the fertility, that there is this energy of creation and here, now, today, we can tap into it with ease, and begin to grow seeds.

I thought I’d try and watch the sunrise, but it was cloudy when I looked out the window, so I went to the Gran’Mère at St Martin’s church, and adorned her garlands of grass and shells, and gave thanks for all she represents, and prayed for assistance in creative endeavours ahead.

As I made my way home, this just a little after 6am, I noticed the sun light beginning to peak above the clouds, so I stopped and watched the sunrise from the lane near our house. There is nothing quite as potent as a sunrise to set you up for the day ahead, and there was definitely a spring in my step returning home. 

It was a funny day though, I taught a class which was just what I needed as I was able to enjoy the Goddess energy with a group of lovely ladies (you can access it on the Beinspired YouTube channel). This was followed with a session with my friend Jo de Diepold Braham, to help shift some stagnant energy that has come up with all the hip practice this week

Even though I know, because I practice distance Reiki, that energy can travel regardless of time and space, it still blows my mind that energy sessions can be held remotely. That Jo can literally tap into my energy field from another country, and feel into it, and I can feel her holding the space for it. It proves that there really is more to us than we see.

Then a class I was meant to teach remotely couldn’t be held, because the internet dropped out, quite unexpectedly. I didn’t react, I have come to recognise that for whatever reason, and often I will never know what it is, it’s just not meant to be. If there is one thing we learn from Covid-19 is to become increasingly comfortable with the not-knowing and the acceptance.

Then a funny thing happened. I’ve not been wearing any deodorant or essential oils lately, because I’ve been swimming in the sea most mornings and then haven’t bothered showering until the evening because I haven’t been seeing anyone. However I did shower this morning after sea swimming as I was teaching, and because it was Beltain I thought I’d use deodorant and a goddess oil mix.

Fast forward a few hours and I was out for a short ‘head space’ run  and I felt decidedly sick as I smelt the essential oils on my skin. It made me think how sensitive we can become to smell when we live increasingly without. There wasn’t anything wrong with the oils by the way, just they’re no longer resonating with me, goddess, or no goddess!

Traditionally the fire is central to Beltain evening and so we thought we’d celebrate that way too. E and I jumped the fire, which is meant to purify and cleanse (and bring fertility, but we’ll see that more as invoking the creative!) and pledge ourselves to each other! I also used it as an opportunity for more letting go with a burning bowl ceremony of my own.

We visited the water that flows at the lane down the road just as the sun set too – not quite the same as the ancients, who were said to sit all night by sacred wells and healing springs as the water was meant to be most potent at this time. The half-moon shone above us and I don’t know that it was potent, but the experience was calming albeit with the children!

We tied ribbons to the tree in our front garden yesterday. Traditionally ribbons and threads of clothing were tied to hawthorn trees, especially those growing by sacred wells, but this was the best we could do. We cycled down to La Varde dolmen yesterday too, to give thanks to the goddess and fertility energy of this ancient site; it has a special energy. 

There were other things we could have done that we haven’t, like walk the labyrinth and dance a maypole, but these were beyond the realm of my efforts today, and anyhow, we need to save something for next year! I’m certainly feeling energised this evening as I write this, happy beltain and love to you all.