Head or heart
We just got back from Sark and another amazing visit. I just love that place, it restores me in a way that Nepal used to do, there’s just something about it’s energy. My heart and soul crave it and my roots need it. Life gets way too busy on Guernsey, it’s a place of frenetic activity, there’s something about its energy that just has people running around in circles and I get caught up in it like the rest.
Sark encourages the go slow approach, albeit I only managed to sit down and watch one DVD the whole time, which I guess was a positive thing, as I don’t usually watch any television. We had relatively lazy mornings though, given that the children for some crazy reason were waking at 5.15am, so I was able to make the most of the time to sit in bed drinking tea and editing my book, a treat.
Then it was swim in the pool and a walk down Dixcart Valley for a swim in the sea, maybe some yoga, maybe a cycle, maybe another beach, maybe some Reiki or a massage, maybe a search for more ancient stones (we accessed some private land on Little Sark and finally found the cist that had evaded us previously), maybe more swimming, maybe some more tea, maybe a walk to somewhere new, maybe a visit to the play area or more charity shopping. I made it out to the dolmen a few times too, saw the milky way, the skies are unbelievable on a clear night. There is so much to do on Sark that we still didn’t manage to visit all the places we have intended and I have yet to find the lump of rose quartz found on an excavation.
We made new friends, I now know Phil the farmer and owner of much of the field of Little Sark. I also met Terry. I caught up with the yoga group and the holistic therapist. It increasingly feels like home away from home. It is my intention that one day I spend more time there, but for now, I am contented to look forward to our trips and the various retreats - the good news is that we WILL be running the September and October retreats as hoped, thank you Helen at the Island Hall.
It’s always uncomfortable for me coming back to Guernsey. The energy at the moment doesn’t help things. There is such division, not least between those in Covid-Fear and those not, but in whether we live from the head or the heart. I got myself well and truly caught up in that with incessant thinking and a horrible feeling of fear. I knew I had dropped out of the heart, but couldn’t seem to get back into it again. Jo, my shadow worker friend, helped me to feel into it again and cease the thinking mind and ego with all its need to try to control and make life certain. Ha. An illusion no-less.
I am reminded that our stories alone are simply a fabrication, a way that we try to make sense of things, but in the process run the risk of getting caught up and lost in the narrative. The ego likes to keep unfeeling alone and separate, making us right or wrong, good or bad, and making others the same too, taking it all so blinking personally that we truly believe it is about us, forgetting it can only ever be about them - their stuff.
Anyway, it’s time for bed. I’m going to lead a yoga nidra on Sunday night, with the Reiki share. I just have a feeling there’s a real need to get into the body and especially into the heart. There’s no fear in the heart. No ego either. No nothing other than just this beautifully calm expansive feeling. Then you know. No need for the head to try to figure it out!
Love Emma xxx
