Peace within the eclipse chaos
Phew, this squeeze solar eclipse and new moon energy is intense to say the least! It’s throwing up all sorts of unresolved stuff, especially around judgement, the way others judge us and how we judge others and ourselves. This alone is enough to test our self worth, but we are also being asked to cultivate greater discernment about what works in our life and what doesn’t, about the people with whom we keep company and the energy of all this.
I have become acutely aware of all of this in own life and have found it very uncomfortable at times. i see how I react to criticism and the way I harden my heart to it, and the manner in which I may then lash out to others, taking my stuff out on them, as a defence mechanism. I see how much it pains me when others reject me for who I am and how easily it then is to consider that there’s something wrong or flawed with me, without appreciating that that’s merely their perception of me, their judgement then, because of me triggering something in them, and on it goes.
None of us are flawed or in need of fixing, we just need to hang on to that fragile aspect of self that tells us it’s so. The more we buy into this as a possibility - that we are flawed and in need of fixing - the more we will attract in experiences, which will l validate this to us. So we need to be aware of this, and catch ourselves as we drift down that patterning, as it will not serve us to give ourselves a hard time and judge ourselves so. Our poor heart and soul will suffer and if we have a tendency to depression, we will find ourselves in that dark space again.
Mind you the dark space is enlightening, because it gives us an opportunity to literally find our light again. At such times I personally find it very helpful to dig deeper into my yoga practice, get outside into nature, switch off from media, take a break from seeing anyone other than very close and trusted friends, doing things that fill me up, eating as well as I can, hydrating and allowing myself time and space to both grieve out the old and allow in the new. Depression has always been a process of transformation for me. The key is to not get lost in it however and try and numb from it.
I’ve just finished editing my book From Darkness Comes Light, about my journey with depression, and the irony is not lost on me that I now find myself plunged into new moon darkness! It’s the end of a cycle, and there is a grieving that comes with that, also a recognition of needing to let go of certain situations/people that are no longer resonating, and the stepping up that this process entails.
I took comfort the other day in a paragraph of a book I am reading by Ethan Nichtern called The Dharma of the Princess Bride, which reads:
“Ironically, the more nonjudgmental you become, the ore discerning you get about whether to cultivate a closer friendship with a given person. “Nonjudgment” is the clarity you need to see that some relationships just don’t work. The difference between a healthy and unhealthy relationship is not whether you love each other; it’s whether you help each other wake up. And if two people want to help each other awaken, they need to do something that the greatest action movies of our time understand. To help each other wake up, you have to help each other beat the bad guys”.
It’s interesting to see the word “bad” used by a Buddhist teacher, but me even saying that shows my judgments! But talking of the bad guys, there is a sense of that in my world at the moment. I’m struggling to understand the current media and political reaction to Omicron and the desperate measures taken to further infringe on personal rights about what happens to our body and to our face and our health generally.
It’s a tricky world to navigate. Unless you toe the fear based line then you are vilified for not being united, even though the supposed united front makes no sense to so many of us (and when you get beyond the media spin you see there really is no united front!). There is no control of nature, no getting out of here alive, I do struggle with all our attempts to make it otherwise. Always we’re pushing the us and them, the right, wrong, the good, bad, rather than just appreciating that we’re all different, we all have different needs and why can’t we just live and let live.
Mind you this is the theme right. Even amongst those who might have similar views on nature or health, there is division and betrayal. So we come back to discernment and retreating from the world, discovering more of our own truth, what we feel in our heart, our truth and staying true to that regardless of the judgements and criticism hurled our way. This is the work of humanity, of the collective, the ability to live in peace together. But first we have to make peace with ourself. That is really what’s coming up this eclipse. Peace.
Everything is up in the air and I felt that very much i everyone’s energy this week. We don’t know where it’s headed next. But really if we remember to breathe, to get our feet on the earth, to listen into our heart, then we will find a certain grounding. It’s staying true to us that will help us through all this, not someone else’s version of the truth.
I’m going to spend as much of the next 22 hours in as much peace as possible, switching off, hibernating and letting the eclipse energy work its magic and change us, as a humanity towards greater peace by helping us find greater peace within each of us individually an collectively. Well, here’s hoping anyway!
Love Emma
