Partial solar eclipse, anxiety and caring too much

We’ve a rare partial solar eclipse arriving on Tuesday, from 10.03 to 11.49am, when the sun will be partially obscured by the moon. Eclipses are potent. They change things. The ancients knew this and recorded through stones, so they knew when they were happening, pretty impressive really, way back when.

Here the internet tells us, how life has changed, and most will be unaware, and yet may well feel something different in the air. If you’re reading this before the event, you’ll have the awareness, and might be able to consciously feel into it. It’ll affect us whether we’re conscious of it or not however.

I’ve got a couple of Reiki attunements today, here from home, a Reiki Master and a Reiki Level One for a teenager, and I can’t help thinking what perfect timing, to increase one’s vibration and awareness of Reiki, just before an eclipse, to let go of the old, to allow more of the new in - creating space.

I’d love to say that we’re evolving as a humanity, I really would, and I have had many a discussion with people about this, because maybe I’m a little bit more cynical than most, or maybe because of my passion for neolithic stones and their vibration, and the manner in which they shift consciousness and try to expand on the perfection of nature, harmonise it, rather than destroy and control it, I see things differently. I don’t feel that we are evolving.

I feel that we’re descending into more chaos and darkness. And yes, maybe this is needed, like the birth canal, to shoot us out the other side, but, but, but, I also wonder if we just continuously feed more of the illusion under the guise of being spiritual. Because this whole notion of spirituality follows in patterns. I’ve commented on this before. Yoga was big. Mindfulness was big. Cacao was big. Shamanism is now big.

We follow trends and don’t always commit, don’t always allow ourselves to go deeper still in any one practice, instead we flit off to another, which promises us the love and light and joy that we’re still not feeling, because we don’t do the deeper work - we maintain the superficial. This is really where I see us. On the superficial. Flitting around. An impatient culture, wanting change but not prepared to do the inner work to create the change.

The Yoga Sutras tells us to practice. That it is through practice that we will experience what it is we seek. That it is through long term practice, without interruptions and with a positive attitude too. We have to commit. We have to go inwards. All the rest, well its all more of the superficial. All our flitting from one group to another, from one circle to another. It’s all external. We want someone else to fix us, still viewing science and the doctor as God, expecting the latter (and the former now I think about it) to know us more than we know ourselves. In this way, we give away our power.

The moon has a clever way of bringing up our patterns. The moon will cover part of the sun on Tuesday. That’s unusual. This is what makes it potent. A shift in forces. Things not what they seem. An extraordinary event to challenge our sense of safety and security, take us out our comfort zone of knowing that the moon does this and the sun does that, and it does, each planet has its pattern, and sometimes their patterns combine to create a new vibration, to change the energy and the forces that flow towards us here on planet earth.

So perhaps its to be expected that we may be feeling more anxious than usual. Like we know, but don’t know. Like the earth isn’t quite so stable. And all our attempts to make it so are null and devoid when it comes to nature. Natural disasters happen. Weather patterns change. There are some things we can’t control despite our best efforts to make it so. We live in a society that has been structured to maximise power and control for certain individuals, and the rest of us slaves to this system. It allows us a sense of security. We know where we’re at. But it comes at a cost because it is illusionary and doesn’t necessarily accord with our soul.

It’s not that the ground drops away, because it doesn’t. But life events happen that make us lose our grounding anyway. Covid did this, powerfully too. But we clung back to old routines and ways of being, we craved the norm, the same structure, power and control, amassing our fortune, feeling safe and secure. And yet, this can still be taken away. The financial markets have sent many a person into a spin lately, increased interest rates challenging people, let alone the increasing cost of energy, all of this throwing light into the shadows of what we believe to be safe…everything changes.

So, anyway, its perhaps not surprising that so many are currently feeling intense anxiety. It’s that time of year. I blogged about this recently, about everything being up in the air, about this being the Vata time of year, an excess of air and ether, both of which can create a feeling of anxiety, a groundlessness, as if one is without an anchor, cast adrift. People have literally been saying this to me too - that they feel without an anchor. Life is still up in the air it seems.

Anxiety is a horrible feeling. I have blogged about this too, and I write about it at length in my new book which is coming out this week. Incidentally, if you’re not already signed up for my Launch Squad, I’d be so very grateful if you could help me out by going to Amazon on Thursday and buying the e-book From Darkness Comes Light at the special price of 99p! Yes, a whole 99p. And if you get the book on Thursday you’re entitled to come along to my ‘Mind Your Mind, Yoni Yoga for Mental Wellbeing’ class next Sunday 30th October for free and stay on and enjoy a cup of tea and cake, with donations to Guernsey Mind.

The impending release of my book has created some anxiety for me. It is a very honest book and it brings up a certain vulnerability. I feel anxious for my family, because it’s not easy for them, me writing about my life and sharing so openly with others. My inner journey, the issues I have had to navigate, have no bearing on them, they have always done all they can to support me, but it’s only natural that they might feel exposed too and I might feel exposed for them.

It was a difficult book to write, and it certainly pushed things here at home, writing books consumes one’s attention, and the content asked me to did deep and do the inner work that was unresolved. This took me to layers of anxiety that I didn’t know existed, and the publishing of the book has done the same. There are always layers it seems and levels to our awareness and what needs to be released in any given time.

But generally, there is an anxiety in the air and you too may be feeling it. To me it feels like we are being asked to go into it and enquire into the nature of it, so that we can release it. I have noticed my own patterning around it, when the feeling arises, there is usually something going on, a conversation that needs to be had, a confrontation, an exposure, something that challenges a core belief or a way of being that is no longer helpful, aways there is an underlying fear.

I touched an underlying fear myself last night, which I didn’t know was there until I felt into it and asked myself what was creating the anxious feeling I was feeling - it was a fear of letting people down. I can see how there are times when I give too much of myself and compromise my boundaries and my family time, because of this fear, and how I need to now own it and put into practice more of my sense that we shouldn’t really care, not because we’re not caring, but because we need to care more about our self and value our self.

It’s not easy, but there has to come a point where we say enough. Where we have to take back our power and say no, that such and such isn’t working for us, that we have allowed a certain way of being to manage a fear. If we can go to that fear and let go of its hold over us, then it sets us free. This is the path to liberation, and it is very much centred in the heart. Love for self ultimately.

I find anxiety such an interesting feeling to work with. I haven’t read anything about this new moon and there are still a few days to feel into it, but I would encourage you to feel into any anxiety that it is bringing up for you, any sense of being groundless, of fearing the unknown, and of fearing your own inner power. Also, how much we each of us feed a system that is illusionary, that takes us away from ourselves and gives us a false sense of security. Can we hold ourselves truly? Can we stand on our own two feet and retain our centre, regardless of what’s going on? Can we live in accordance with our heart, regardless of what our mind says? Essentially - can we trust our intuition?

The practice helps. And that’s where I am off to now. Let’s see what the moon does and what the eclipse helps to create. If it’s love for self that is truly lived, caring about ourselves, trusting in ourselves and our intuition then maybe the cynic in me can quieten down a bit!

Love Emma x