Finding a new flow
Full moon evening and one of the first thing’s one of my best friends said to me was “have you unfcked yourself yet?”.
It was blunt but he was spot on. That rather potent harvest moon, rising directly east and setting directly west, the equinox full moon, was all about getting out of our own way (the more eloquent way of saying unfcking ourselves!), seeing through more of our mind based limitations, letting it go and taking action in much more positive and heart felt direction.
In fairness the Equinox shifted things. I returned home from Jersey and had a massive clear out, of a whole heap of stuff I had been holding on to for years, books, clothes, jewellery, trinkets and even some crystals. It felt cathartic and freeing, to let go of all that ‘held on to for no reason other than some some slight feelings of sentimentality’ which ended up creating clutter and stopped the energy flowing so easily.
As soon as I had let it got I felt so much better, as if I had been burdened by it and hadn’t even realised. What is interesting to me is how we form these attachments to material objects in the first place and how they can clutter our home and indeed work environment until our energy shifts, and then we have to shift the energy in our external environment too and in the process the attachment drops away and we can finally let go, wondering why we were so attached in the first place…
And in fairness how can we expect to bring in the new until we have created space by letting go of the old. These equinox shifts are brilliant at helping us to do exactly that, shifting our internal environment so that we naturally want to shift our external environment too. Then then new beginnings come in.
Certainly the full moon highlighted for me at least where change needed to take place and I am grateful for that insight, despite its discomfort. I know it wasn’t just me though, I saw others going through it, being forced to get out of their own way, to let go of old patterns and behaviours that no longer fit, to let go of ways of being that have become too safe and limiting, and to find a new way and flow in their lives instead.
I now find myself home schooling, or unschooling, two boys. I’m not doing this alone btw, E and our families are helping, so too our little home school community. This is most definitely a new way. One boy, a quiet and reserved boy at that was pretty easy I now realise, having a rather manic younger brother added into the mix does make for more testing time of it! Still, we are beginning to find our new way, and it has forced upon me many changes that I probably should have been making anyway.
The thing with yoga, Reiki and Ayurveda, is that all they make us more sensitive, which means we crave nature and space. I guess ultimately they encourage us to be in more of our own nature so our separation from nature lessens and our need to be merged within it increases. We want to eat lighter vibrational food. We find the grating energy of WIFI more testing. Even being on a laptop disturbs our energy. We become increasingly aware of people who drain our energy and those who fill it up. We also crave increasing solitude and quiet and sacred space.
I now see how this new flow to our lives allows more of what we all need, time in nature, time with those who fill us up, time alone and time just to be. Many of you are probably already meeting your needs in this way, just I realise I wasn't meeting this need within me. I was spreading myself too thinly, trying to be too many things to too many people, and not being as present with my boys, not being the mum I always wanted to be, and not honouring my soul in the process. I am grateful to my boys and to this moon for showing me that there is an another way, not that it’s easy, but it’s definitely more spacious and freeing.
Maybe the moon highlighted your unhelpful patterns too, the ways in which you get in your own way, don’t make life easy for yourself, compromise on your dreams, give in to your fears, don’t stand in your power and are drifting, getting through the days but not feeling fully aligned.
Using death as your advisor can be really helpful.
If you were to die tomorrow, what would you do differently today?
That certainly made me think.
It’s very easy to get caught up in the mundane, to resign ourselves to the status quo because we forget it could be any other way, to forget that we have a choice.
The wonderful thing about the universe is though, that if we forget, it tries to get out attention gently initially and then if we are still not listening, it literally forces change upon us, forces our re-alignment.
It’s never easy, but nor is staying stuck.
My friend told me on the full moon that no one really cares. I thought long and hard about that. About whether anyone cares. Certainly we care too much as a society about what other people think of us, to the extent that we compromise on our true selves for the sake of others, giving away our power in the process. And sometimes we care more about other people’s welfare than we do our own. Maybe that was what the moon was doing, helping us to care more about ourselves and the favourite people in our lives than we usually do - clear out the clutter and set ourselves free, put ourselves and our health and wellbeing first.
Enjoy this beautiful weather as the moon wanes and darkness descends earlier.
Love Emma x
