Authenticity
I found that last full moon rather intense in its shining brightly as I walked the lanes exploring ancient wells, I got myself rather wired, couldn’t sleep easily after that, but was beautiful, there is something so special about being out on one’s own at night, when everyone else is asleep, or at least, there’s very little signs of life, no traffic and just a quietness to the energy.
Since then the energy keeps pushing us to go deeper still. I know I’m not the only one who has seen some pretty old patterns coming up, ones that come and go, but that fundamentally ask us to compromise our authenticity to suit the needs of others. It was timely that I started reading Gabor Mate’s book, The Myth of Normal, courtesy of one of my clients, which so many of you have been reading too. I was a bit resistant, because of this, it becoming mainstream, but there are some pertinent bits in it.
The bit I have found helpful is the dynamic between attachment and authenticity. How we compromise our authenticity, our true self, for our need to essentially be accepted and approved by others, especially care givers, and that fundamental need for love and connection - attachment then.
It can be really uncomfortable choosing authenticity over attachment, if the choice has to be made, of being true to who we are even if that is at odds with what is expected of us, whether that be by care givers or by society. Many of you will also be up against this. The more we open to spiritual practice, the more the practice helps us to let go of and free ourselves from all the many ways we have been moulded by others and by society, so that we become more of who we truly are, soul, beyond what is expected of us.
While this is liberating, it can also be very uncomfortable. To be truly authentic is not easy. To be our true selves is difficult for others and we can be up against this, and, like I mentioned earlier, their expectations of us, and their understanding of the world. We don’t fit, that’s the trouble. Because our true self is not limited by society’s boundaries, it doesn’t look a certain way, and it doesn't behave a certain way either, it is unique to each of us and thus the way we live becomes increasing unique and often, unconventional.
Furthermore, being authentic, generally involves a letting go of mis-identification from a personality perspective too, and this is tricky. We become conditioned from an early age, to be a certain way, for reasons above as much as anything else, as coping mechanisms too in this crazy world we live in to the extent that here we are, with all these mental imprints, and we identify with this sense of being and relating as if this is who we truly are, yet this is mere personality including behaviour patterns and ways of seeing the world (lenses), generally to keep us safe, which can change, is not constant, yet we see ourselves as consistent.
Spiritual practice will help us recognise this mis-identification and ultimately let it go, so that we become more of who we truly are and less limited by what has come before. This process is not easy because of our over identification and therefore clinging to what is known, in terms of our relationship to self. To let go of the bits that no longer serve us, that prevent us being more of who we truly are, can create feelings of intense vulnerability, because essentially we have to change patterns, we have to not react to situations in the way we did previously, to stop feeding the mental patterning.
Despite its uncomfortableness, there really is no other way, because to stay stuck just means more of the same and will deny our true authenticity. We will always be compromising who we are for others, or for some mental construct that was maybe set up to keep us safe but is now creating more of the same, be that stress, anxiety, depression etc. that can also affect our health and wellbeing and lead to dis-ease in the body because of our limiting our truth - the classic head/heart battle. We see this with auto-immune and I can talk from experience with skin conditions, but the list is endless, cancer is of course a huge one.
It’s an ongoing process, the universe only gives us what we can handle in any one moment, and we do well to remember that! It’s definitely worth remembering this as we wane down to the new moon on Monday, the energy is triggering situations to help us remember the fullness of who we are, and this can cause friction, so change the pattern, don’t feed it, care less, love more. It’s always about love and self-love ultimately - realising that we are just pure love and putting our Self first (after all, why give ourselves away to others?)
Love Emma x
