My parents used to run Duke of Edinburgh groups on Dartmoor when I was probably a bit older than my boys are now (Elijah 11 and Eben 8), and my younger brother, Ross, and I would accompany them. This instilled in me a love of Dartmoor and of the wilds, even though it took me many years to realise this. It was always lots of fun playing in the rivers and around the clapper bridges, and I have visited a few times since.

Dartmoor is 368 square miles - it’s about 20 miles from North to South and 20 miles from East to West. It is one of ten National Parks in England covering 10% of the land area. National Parks were created by The National Parks and Access to the Countryside Act 1949 and Dartmoor National Park is created from land owned by a range of people including lots of farmers and The Duchy of Cornwall (Prince William).

There are over 365 tors on Dartmoor. Tors are where the granite rock that is underneath Dartmoor shows through. 65% of Dartmoor is made of granite and this is no doubt the reason there are so many Neolithic sites here as the quartz is an energy conductor, albeit so many of them have been destroyed, which is a real shame - but I am grateful to those whose efforts helped to restore many of them.

Down Tor and Burrator Reservoir in the background

It was my love of Neolithic stones which caused me to visit Dartmoor last May with a Neolithic friend. My friend had visited that previous February when he had been tested by the freezing temperatures and the relentless wind and rain as he tried to access some of the more inaccessible sites. But this is the thing with Dartmoor, it tests! And its spirit, for it most definitely has a spirit, encourages us to look at our deepest fears.

It did the same to me that trip last May when I was left stranded in the UK by Condor for an extra two days with no available flights, due to bank holidays and me having to face my fear of being separated from my children beyond my control, highlighting my separation anxiety and also my caring too much what others think and judging myself based on this. So it was helpful and set in motion a healing, despite it being an uncomfortable process to look at those fears.

Brothers - Eben dressed more appropriately now!

Dartmoor tested this time too. I had been tested before even leaving Guernsey and arrived in the UK a little on edge. The spirit knew this! Our first day on the Moors we attempted to access Down Tor stone circle, where I had found comfort after the Condor meltdown referred above, and felt I needed to thank it by showing up and taking the boys there too. This was not their first trip to Dartmoor, but their first trip with me on my own and with some proper walking, with a map and a compass.

Trouble is, despite having a degree in Geography, my map reading skills are fairly poor and while I prefer to use my intuition, this was tested by the poor conditions, which I had not anticipated. You see had I checked a local weather report I might have known that fog was forecast, but the report I looked at suggested only heavy cloud.

My parents have quite rightly put fear in me about Dartmoor and mist. Looking after groups of teenagers on the Moors inevitably made them very conscious of the risks that this beautiful wild place brings. It didn’t help that the temperatures were hovering around -1 degrees and Eben was still wearing his football kit and hoody, not ideally equipped for these conditions. And while I had packed water and food supplies, I had not thought to pack extra clothing...

Anyway, we found the carpark and I had a sense of the direction we needed to go, and we were on the path, and being guided in many respects because a couple were also walking the same way, he a new Neolithic stone enthusiast and phone in hand guiding him (I am afraid I am still with the dumb phone). We did really well actually, and made it all the way up to Down Tor before the mist properly started rolling in.

We had a sense of the direction of the stone circle and the couple were trekking ahead of us at the time, so all we had to do was keep an eye on them. But then Eben got very cold and I had to strip off my leggings to give to him (I did also have hiking trousers) and wrap my scarf around him, but even then the cold was seeping through and the mist was getting thicker and we couldn’t see the Tor we had just left behind and the couple disappeared, as if they had never been there in the first place.

I knew we were probably only 100m away, up over the ridge ahead, but when it is misty it all looks the same and I was concerned about Eben, so we had to call it and descend. To say I was frustrated was an understatement. I hate giving up on finding Neolithic stones and clearly I still have some work to do on letting go - of remembering that ultimately we are never in control and we have to trust the process, because perhaps there is another way which better serves us with lessons to learn through the tests we are gifted. This was very much the theme leaving Guernsey and Dartmoor was merely highlighting this.

Elijah is my mountain goat and he remembered the way to get back down, such is his intuitive capacity. I was so grateful for his calmness because I was too irritated at myself at that point, highlighting the ways we give ourselves a hard time unnecessarily, by labelling something good or bad. Good that we were alive and well. Bad that mummy hadn’t thought to dress Eben more appropriately. But actually when it came down to it and I calmed down and realised ALL of this, I recognised that the biggest trigger was around things not working out as planned - just like the last time I had visited Dartmoor and Condor cancelling our crossing. The weather was beyond my control, but I still personalised it and gave myself a hard time for it.

So again, Dartmoor’s testing was helpful. Because on some level I did know all of this, that life re-routes us. We spent the afternoon at Plymouth Aquarium, which is not something I feel entirely comfortable about (living beings held in captivity) but this was a big deal to Elijah who just loves all things of the sea, and got to see sharks etc. The day before Eben had indulged in his love of otters at the Otter sanctuary in Buckfastleigh, which had prompted this whole trip, cute little things, but again, held in captivity.

Needless to say the next day the weather was glorious and we attempted Down Tor from another direction. But first we did something we had committed to do the previous day and on entering Dartmoor, we all spoke and prayed to the spirit of the land to grant us safe passage, something I usually always do when entering sacred land and Neolithic sites.

We were lucky again to chance on people who set our path and with bright sunshine and clear visibility and a remembering of the route from my May trip where we had accessed the stones this same way. There were signs too, the birds who enlighten the path and the intuitive nudges and we found the circle and it’s row, which is quite amazing, and lifted all our spirits, to be out in the wild and to finally make it! We would not have had such amazing views the day before or felt so proud of ourselves for finally making it so I am grateful to Dartmoor and its testing reminding me that there is a timing to everything.

We met a man at the stones who told us of another way to access a stone circle - Scorhill - that we have visited previously. So we set out to the other side of Dartmoor through the most skinny of lanes, 7 foot wide in some places, which was hair raising in a hire car and one of those times that you pray you don’t meet someone coming in the opposite direction, and on the whole we were lucky. We found Batworthy corner by some miracle and even found a spot to park, and set out in the general direction of Scorhill, but it is always challenging on the moors as you can’t see the stones until you get really close to them, so a compass is handy.

But we were blessed with another guide in the form of a lady called Claire and her dog, Kizzy, Claire reminding me of a good friend and there was this strange familiarity. She was on her way to Scorhill so while Eben threw the ball and played with Kizzy (no moaning!), Claire and I chatted as we walked the mile or so to the stone circle. We got to visit a clapper bridge which my Mum loves and Claire also told us about the holy stone, which we took turns sliding through because it is meant to create a positive transformation, a bit like Men-an-Tol in Cornwall.

Claire left us at the circle, and Elijah was quite stuck by her being an earth angel who was sent to guide us safely. This spun Eben out who couldn’t quite get his head around what Elijah was saying and was questioning if he meant she was a ghost. I knew what Elijah meant, sometimes in life, these earth angels come at just the right time to guide you and help keep you safe - they appear from nowhere and leave as quickly. They are encounters which often stay with you and I have a fond memory of being ‘saved’ by a businessman who just appeared in front of me from the busyness of the crowds on a Tokyo train platform and basically saved me because I had absolutely no idea where I was going and no way of reading Japanese!

Dartmoor is an amazing place and the boys certainly enjoyed the opportunity to get away from it all too, and immerse in the elements in this way. Eben loved the wild ponies, albeit they are all owned by farmer - about 90% of the land on Dartmoor is used for farming and there is said to be approximately 50,000 cows, sheep and ponies on Dartmoor. I loved showing them the rivers and the bridges and we got to see the prison at Princetown too, which is always a good point of reference!

Dartmoor does test - it is a sacred land and it brings up our fears - but I am grateful for this and the awareness this brings, not comfortable of course, and something now to work with. Always there is a surrendering and the journey continues, here we are now in Glastonbury for the waxing moon and the messages are getting louder still as I am sure they are for you too. This is another moon of change, of surrendering any idea we have of where we are heading and to remember that it is never really about us in the first place - spirit has a say!

Love Emma x

Dartmoor!

Happy full moon from Glastonbury

Happy Imbolc!