Finding our way
Well the benefit of having Covid again, was it brought me back to dark chocolate, which I had stopped eating in a quest for better sleep. I love chocolate and especially Booja Booja chocolate and it was a joy to taste that yummy loveliness again, in an attempt to ground myself, which is one of the many benefits of dark chocolate for me at least.
Covid aside, it’s also part of following the joy, one of my current explorations. It feels to me that life is far to short to not follow the joy, regardless of what others think. It’s been an interesting exploration as there are times when I realise that I am up against myself, and my mental imprinting and conditioning around being ‘selfish’. It’s a theme that pops up from time to time, because, like everyone else, I have been conditioned to be a certain way in this world, and being ‘selfish’ is not a quality that has been encouraged.
Still, in my world, being selfish is actually essential. If we’re not there for our self who else will be? And really, what is the point in continuously denying ourselves what makes us joyful and happy. Plus, we’re inherently selfish anyway, some might say they’re not, that they put others first, and they may well put others first, but that doesn’t mean that there isn’t a selfish motivation to their actions of putting others first. We all want to gain something from our life experiences, even if it is just a sit down with a cup of tea in front of the television.
That’s one thing I don’t do actually. I did attempt to watch a Channel 4 documentary last night on sex and healing of all things, as my mum had mentioned that there was a clip on Tantra (which is another joy), but the whole thing was just too painful for me to watch, when I don’t usually watch such things. I just cannot watch TV, it does something weird to me. So it was back to reading about ancient trackways instead, and dowsing, which is another of my big joys.
The other night, once the boys had finally gone to sleep (another joy after a long day!), I decided to go for a walk with my rods and so out I went, asking them to take me to the nearest neolithic stone of spiritual significance, and they took me on a convoluted journey through a couple of fields and around the back of a deserted farmhouse. It was dusk by then and I walked around in circles for a bit doubting the direction the rods were pointing, and then an owl flew out of a tree in that very direction, so I knew it to be true, and set off through more undergrowth and out onto a private lane, and alas, there ahead of me as I reached the roadway, was a neolithic stone in the gateway opposite chattering away.
Yes, stones talk. They have a consciousness, just like you and I. Spending time with stones can shoot ou consciousness, and let’s face it, they’ve been around a long time so there’s lots we can learn from them. This is one of the reasons I love stones so much, they have a lot to teach us. Stone circles are my favourite, there’s something about how they move energy that I find especially exciting. Not that I understand sacred geometry just yet, but the stones are teaching me bit by bit. I’m intending to start working the geometry of my moon garden, just waiting for the quartz points to arrive first.
This is the way in so much as we are shown the way, bit by bit, when the time is right. Often it involves a selfishness to it though, because it is about our self opposed to everyone else. Only our self knows it’s own journey here on Planet Earth, and this journey may not be what is expected of us, or fit into conventional thinking or societal conditioning. I don’t fit in, that’s for sure, but I have found a way to be here that allows more of who I am without it mattering whether I fit in or not.
It’s not easy though, to continuously feel as if you are going against the grain, but if there is one thing I learned on the full moon (and there were many gifts the moon brought with her) is that the way reveals itself in each moment, it cannot be planned. Even my trip to Glastonbury with Eben cannot be planned, not really, sure I have a sense of where I might go, but even that’s changing the closer I get to departure date but I know that the way will reveal itself eventually.
As for Covid, well that weaved its magic in my life and showed me another way, for which I shall always be grateful, coinciding with me finishing the Tantra course which revealed more of the way too. The moon also reveals a way, and life is changing, does change, moment to moment, as long as we can stay true, regardless of what others think or the opinions they hold of us - this too will always change.
Enjoy the bank holiday Monday.
Love Emma x
