Practicing and raising our vibration!
It’s been a funny old time, the Equinox ushered in a significant change for us all in some way or form, there was a whole heap of synchronicity flying around in my life at that time, and then onto the full moon, which was just amazing!
It honestly felt like a gift from the goddess, a clear sky and a very large moon, simply because she was closer to the earth than usual that evening. I went out later at night, rare for me, but to meet a friend who also shares a love of the goddess, the moon, dolmens, nature and working with energy.
I was buzzing for a good while off the back of all that energy and life had a certain fullness and vibrancy that comes from spending time on the earth and communing with it, watching sunrise and sunset, moon rise and moon set. This all coincided of course with the really high morning tides and that beautifully warm March weather, which found us enjoying the fisherman’s slip at Saints harbour for before-school swims. Bliss!
Then everything shifted again, because this is the nature of cycles and our own cycles too. My body started doing a re-aligning exercise, after the effect of all the shifting in vibration, what with an additional online Reiki attunement I received, and attuning others, plus the time spent in dolmens and witnessing nature’s cycle, which will always change things.
Admittedly, there was a sense of overwhelm about all that is going on here with Beinspired, as I attempt to write new material to allow for some of the ideas whizzing through my head of the workshops I’d like to share with you, both Reiki and yoga, such is my passion for both. Often I get asked, “how do you manage it all?”. It’s easy really, because of the practice.
Yoga and Reiki are both all about practice. The yoga sutras makes this very clear; in the first chapter, sutra 12, “abhyasa-vairagyabhyam tat-nirodhah, which means mastery of those [fluctuating activities of the mind] comes from practice together with detachment. Then sutra 13 reads, “tatra sthitau yatnah-abhyasah”, which is translated by Frans Moors as “practice is the sustained effort to remain there, in this place [or direction] of mental stability.”
In Reiki, Mrs Takata, the first female Reiki Master who is accredited with bringing Reiki to the West, stressed the importance of practice on ourselves first and foremost. At Reiki Level One we are invited to consciously develop a daily practice, so that we can extract the goodness and nourishment of Reiki on a daily basis. The more we practice, the greater our understanding and the greater our understanding, the more committed we are to practice!
Like yoga ‘trainings’, Reiki ‘trainings’ don’t really teach us Reiki; they teach us how to practice Reiki, and it is through practice, and practice alone, we come to understand Reiki more deeply – so it is with yoga too! And how do we practice? On ourselves first! Why is practice more important than study? Because yoga and Reiki are spiritual practices rather than learned skills. It is through practice that we strengthen our connection to what is already there, what is already ours: the access to primordial consciousness that is our birth right.
This is one of the many reasons I love Reiki, and of course yoga, albeit Reiki changes things in a different way. It’s more accessible for people for a start and it has less connotations attached to it - or perhaps that’s just my interpretation! Unfortunately yoga has now become so mainstream that it has lost (in my humble opinion) some of its essence, becoming little more than an exercise class, feeding our obsession with manipulating the body and being ‘seen’ to be someone.
This external ‘drive’ has become an obstacle for many on the spiritual path – many don’t even appreciate the inherently spiritual nature of yoga, and in our typical western way we have extracted the bits of eastern practice that feed more of our superficial nature and our resistance to go deeper. Not everyone, and I don’t mean to sound judgmental either.
Only that I have witnessed a significant shift in yoga over the last 15 years that I have been teaching. I’m grateful to my students for going deeper and appreciating the spiritual nature of yoga practice and regularly practising with me, because it is only through dedicated regular practice, on good days and bad days, that the potential of yoga unfolds in our lives.
With, Reiki, we know from the outset that it is a spiritual practice. Maybe people don’t realise this when they initially come for a treatment, but with attunements there is an eagerness to embrace the personal spiritual development aspect of Reiki, and the healing opportunity too. There is a recognition of what might have otherwise been lacking in their lives – a deep yearning for something beyond the mundane and material.
I have witnessed an increasing number of people drawn to this ancient practice over the last few years, especially. On some level, we know that this is a time of awakening, to move towards that which we thought was never possible and attempt to raise vibration – even the vocabulary around this has changed so that we can actually say this nowadays without people freaking out!
Or perhaps the point is, that I can no longer pretend that it is about anything other than discovering and realising the self and raising our vibration in the process for the good of humanity and this planet. It’s simple to me and the various synchronicity and coincidence in my own life recently have validated this to me – the earth talks of this too, a language that is beyond logic and our English vocabularly, that is embodied and known instead.
So how do we raised our vibration? Well it’s really easy. You just have to practice! I think people think it is more complicated than it is and this allows them to play out their “I’m not good enough” theme, which is huge, that and “I am not worthy”. You are good enough and you are worthy! You are a child of the creator, in whatever guise you use to describe the omniscient presence that supports our lives. It’s true. [I’m not religious – and I stress that, because the mention of creator and such is our conditioning that it makes people run a mile with fear of…gosh I don’t even know.]
So raising our vibration comes when we connect with higher divine consciousness. Reiki and Yoga allow this, so too visiting ancient sites, chanting mantra, meditating, connecting with feelings of love, oneness and connectedness with all other beings etc. This means avoiding anything which lowers and dampens our vibration such as alcohol, recreational drugs (including cannabis btw), negative and draining people, clutter, TV, heavy music, activities, spaces and places which in any way depress us and reduce our vibrancy and lower auric field etc.
It’s really important we keep our energy channels as clear as possible and eating a relatively clean diet is essential – it doesn’t have to be raw and vegan (definitely not in this colder weather) but energetically light is best, lots of vegetables, for example and being conscious of where food is coming from and the resonance it has picked up along the way, fresh and local over international and air freight, for example. Also we might try and prepare food with awareness and love – with Reiki too if we are Reiki attuned!
Connecting with nature is a must, getting our bare feet on the earth, on sand, our body too if we can. Spending time alone in nature is helpful, listening, truly listening to the sounds around us and taking it all in, being conscious of the land and the flora and fauna, the birds and insect life, the changing season and weather patterns. Taking deep breaths of fresh air, feeling the sun on our skin, being conscious of our footprint and the way in which we relate to Mother Earth.
We should never underestimate the power of positive thinking in keeping our vibration high either. Sometimes people say to me that they are doing all they can to keep themselves healthy with diet and exercise but are still suffering with some condition or another, and I then discover that they have an underlying negative mental imprinting, their thinking patterns both in relation to themselves and others are incredibly critical and negative and they hold on to outdated and unhelpful core beliefs.
The fundamental core beliefs that many fall victim to at some point include not being worthy, not being good enough, not being loveable, feeling unsafe and relating to the world as a bad and dangerous place, thinking everything is our fault, that we are somehow different/an outsider, that there’s something wrong with us. There’s no truth in our core beliefs, they are exactly that, ‘beliefs’, not truths. Beliefs we bought into at some point during our childhood, which are no longer helpful in adulthood.
Sadly though, they are self-perpetuating, like magnets they attract evidence that makes them stronger, and they repel those things that might challenge them. So if we feel unworthy, we will attract situations that feed our sense of unworthiness, and repel those situations, which may help to build our self-esteem and make us feel worthy. These core beliefs are formed early in our lives and shaped by our upbringing and experiences, by the language that was used by parents, caregivers, teachers and society at large at that time.
These core beliefs may well have been helpful initially, in helping us to make sense of our experiences, but they become harmful and unproductive later in life. We cling onto them though like any bad habit and increase toxicity in our auric field and further damaging our relationship with self. We continuously reinforce them too, to the extent that we don’t realise that we have a choice, that it is we (ha, the irony!) who choose to harm ourselves by holding onto these untrue core beliefs and repetitive negative mental imprintings. Every moment we have an opportunity to change our thinking.
It’s a form of self-harm in many respects, the way we cause so much of our suffering by the thoughts we think and the way we relate to ourselves. These core beliefs and our negative and self-critical thinking create our neuroses, our anxiety and depression, more so than life experience itself.
Some don’t make it to Reiki attunement sessions or a yoga classes, for example, such is the ingrained nature of their core beliefs, causing them to truly believe that they are not good enough, before they have even given it a try. Some loathe themselves and the way they look to the extent that they struggle to attend thinking that others will be judging them and forgetting that everyone has their own neurosis.
Thus we need to be increasingly honest with ourselves about the way we drain our own vibration. It’s all very well eating clean food and avoiding social media and the news, but if we then constantly criticise ourselves and give ourselves a hard time, judging others and feeding our fear in the process, then the effect of all our efforts are limited to an extent. We have to start on the inside, is my take on things. I know that’s terribly tricky, but otherwise we are just constantly bypassing.
And this is something else that I have witnessed frequently over the years, in yoga, where people say all the right things, look the part, but are bypassing, not doing the deeper work. Our modern yoga focused on exercise alone allows this – we are practicing yoga, but we are not always allowing yoga to touch and change us beyond increasing our physical flexibility and strength.
Many give up or take breaks when it begins to get a little more inwardly demanding. There are many reasons that people give for this, but at the end of the day, it’s difficult coming face to face with the many ways we have been kidding ourselves and creating so much of our own suffering, the many lies we tell ourselves and the manner in which we limit ourselves with our fixed thinking. This before we even get to the spiritual ego, which is probably our greatest obstacle on the spiritual path.
Often we just keep going around in circles, and nothing changes, not really, not long term, we still harbour the same insecurities and neurosis which might come and go, but are inherently there underneath it all. So we come back to the practice, and we commit to it, to one practice too (the yoga sutras stress this, choose one practice and stick to it). We practice through the highs and the lows, through the physical, mental and emotional discomfort, the resistance and agitation, the tears and the joy. It’s not all about love and light! If we think it is, then we should know that we are bypassing!
As far as connecting with our inner guide is concerned, well we all have one, that little voice inside that doesn’t sound like its coming from us. The trouble is, that little voice often gets drowned out by the bigger voice with all its judgements and opinions and attempts at organising and control. This is why we practice! To quieten the bigger voice so we can hear more of the smaller and quieter voice, that gently whispers to us, and guides us to allow more of our soul expression in this world, raising our vibration in the process.
The voice may have a different tone or a different accent, different terminology too, than our bigger voice. Sometimes the voice doesn’t come as words but as images and sounds, we should pay attention! There will be signs all around us guiding us, if only we can slow down and notice. The voice and the signs will be persistent and keep repeating, nudging us to pay attention, the message may even come through another person. Our bigger voice is generally self-critical and this little, quieter voice is different, coming from a place of love and kindness, supporting us in a positive direction.
Reiki absolutely helps us to connect with this voice and deepens our relationship with intuition so that we pay attention to the hunches we receive and act upon them – it is often the voice of our inner guide that has brought us to Reiki in the first place. The same can be said of yoga too, although I feel that more of us needs to be committed to Reiki than it does to yoga, simply because yoga doesn’t always demand so much of us initially – we just come and go from classes, cherry pick etc. in a way we don’t when we are undertaking our Reiki training.
Ultimately the universe, the creator, the goddess, our higher self, all of this is trying to help us raise our vibration and make this world a better place to live. I believe that once we can elevate our perspective to the bigger picture, our own limited neurosis seems less important, when we reflect on the individual role we play in the collective energy – we are the micro of the macro, the more we can love and accept ourselves, raise our vibration, the more the planet and all of humanity benefits. We just need to get out of our own way!
Happy practising!
Love Emma xx
Making your own deodorant
I don’t wear much of anything, scent-wise, unless I feel the need, generally from a ‘needing some lavender in my life’ perspective rather than ‘everyone does it so I should do it’ type perspective. Heck I’ve even stopped shaving, suddenly couldn't see the sense in it, maybe that’ll change as the temperature warms, but you get my drift, the need for ‘natural’ and being ‘in one’s nature’ has set in. Blame lockdown, it gave a wonderful opportunity to explore more of simplicity and to enquire into the reason I was doing ‘things’ in the first place.
Anyhow, a lovely friend put me onto this recipe for natural deodorant. She had been making it for me for a while and then lockdown came in so I was tasked with making some for myself. That moment finally arrived and I was pleasantly surprised. It’s always empowering making your own ‘products’ and I thought some of you might like to give it a whirl too.
Here it is:
1 tbsp of Shea butter
1 tbsp of coconut oil
2 tbsp of cornflour
1 tbsp of baking powder
10 drops or so of Essential oils of your choice eg bergamot, lavender and lemon grass
Melt the oils together over a Bain Marie or in microwave, blend in the flour and baking powder, add the essential oils and pour into a screw top jar. Add Reiki and love too!
The recipe doesn’t ask you to pop the jar in the fridge but I did so anyway, to help the setting process. It smells wonderful! I will now smell of lavender and ylang ylang, my two favourite essential oils!
Give it a try if you can and be kind to those pits!
Love Emma x
Curious about Reiki
I love Reiki, it has been without doubt the most positive thing I have ever brought into my life. From the very first Reiki session something changed and it has kept positively changing ever since then. Reiki changes lives in positive ways, it helps us to grow as more conscious and compassionate human beings. Even one Reiki session can change things, but it is the attunements that really changed things for me. I wasn’t always aware of it at the time, as these things can take time to integrate, but any attunement was soon followed by a significant change in my life.
Recently I have been furthering my Reiki studies and was reminded of the manner in which the natural intelligence of the Reiki energy connects us to those with whom we need to connect and invites in often mind-blowing synchronicities and coincidence. There’s been a Bengal theme since deepening my studies, random encounters with Bengal cats and a particularly random meeting with a previously unknown Reiki attuned Bengal cat owner at 6am on the Spring equinox in one of our local dolmens aligned to the spring equinox sunrise.
This after a strange old week of other coincidental stuff occurring, like me buying Elijah a large Pooh Bear fluffy toy from the local hospice shop and days later the Reiki guide, producing the exact same Pooh Bear in one of her videos! Too much of a coincidence to be ignored! This is the thing with Reiki though, it changes things, brings in more magic to life, helps us to see things differently, directs you on a more aligned path and heals all at the same time.
Fire has also been a theme this week, off the back of reading the really inspiring The Children’s Forest by Mac Macartney and more work with my Ayurvedic doctor. Fire really cleanses and shifts things. We acknowledged the spring equinox with a fire at the stone circles at my folks’ house with some friends and tea, bringing more light in now as we burn up more of that we don’t now need. I’m curious to see how the energy settles the next few days, but I have a feeling we have to keep stepping up and moving into unknown territory and will be encouraged to do so too.
Reiki helps us to let go and find new ways to be, it nourishes and calms the soul and allows us to hear it’s voice more clearly, nudging us to make changes, go somewhere different, get out of bed at silly times of the morning to see a sunrise, or stay up late to dance with the moon. It takes us into the sea, onto the earth, doing some stuff we never thought we might do. I really truly believe that everyone should have Reiki in their lives and I have a few ideas of how we might make it more accessible to you, but we’ve got offerings, treatments, attunements, online Reiki share and the forthcoming Safer Event. So if you’re tempted, heed the call, it’s time!
I’ve put together some info about Reiki below. Fortunately it is becoming more well-known and accepted these days, not quite so esoteric as it was when I discovered it back in 2004. Reiki has supported me through all my life challenges since then, and while there have been moments where it has asked me to dig deep, go to those dark places inside, it has always helped me to pop through the other side, lighter, brighter and clearer, so that I wholeheartedly welcome healing crises because as horrible as they are at the time, they are an absolutely necessary stage of our healing and evolution as conscious beings. Anyhow here you go:
What can Reiki do?
Reiki works with the energetic, physical, spiritual and emotional aspects of the individual to address imbalances on all levels. The reason you may wish to experience a Reiki session include:
General balancing
Clearing emotional blocks
Physical pain
Increasing clarity
Issues with life
Personal spiritual development
How is Reiki different from other therapies?
Reiki is holistic in its approach and addresses not only the symptoms an individual experiences but the root cause of the imbalance as well. Reiki helps to restore the body’s natural ability to heal and create balance.
How do I know this is right for me?
People who have a nagging feeling that something in their life or body mind is out of balance or they feel like they are struggling within themselves and their environment usually find Reiki at the perfect time for them. The fact that you are reading this blog is likely a sign that your body/mind/soul is ready for healing and to experience growth.
What exactly is Reiki energy?
The Japanese word ‘Reiki’ means ‘universal life force energy’. It refers to an ancient hands-on healing art developed by Dr Mikao Usui in Japan in the early 1900’s for the passing of healing energy onto others and personal spiritual development.
Eastern medicine has always recognised and worked with this energy, which flows through all living things and is vital to well-being. Known as ‘ki’ in Japan, ‘chi’ in China and ‘prana’ in India. Acupuncture, T’ai chi and Yoga are also based on the free-flow of this energy in a person.
Reiki can be likened to a free flowing river. This river is like energy flowing easily down through the body. Occasionally a pebble or a rock may fall into that river making the flow of water a little more difficult.
These pebbles can be compared to human emotions such as worry, guilt, sadness, fear, shame, anxiety and anger, with each pebble building one on top of the other. Soon there is only a trickle of water running in that once free-flowing river and at this point physical pain may also be experienced. By receiving Reiki more energy is offered to the body. This extra energy is like a flood that washes down through our rivers removing and dissolving the obstacles in its way, such as the trapped emotions that have caused our loss of wellbeing and often kept us stuck.
What to expect during a Reiki session
You will lie fully clothed on a bed (on the floor or a treatment couch) with the option of being covered with a blanket. You will be encouraged to relax as best you can. The practitioner will place her hands on various parts of your body and channel Reiki to you. Reiki might be experienced as heat or cold, tingling, or nothing at all! It usually induces a state of deep relaxation, which can be healing in itself. The session generally lasts one hour.
Calming Green Soup from The Medicinal Chef
Delicious vegetable soup from Dale Pinnock’s recipe book The Medicinal Chef.
This simple soup is not only an awesome colour, but also has a naturally sweet flavour and a wonderfully smooth texture. Serves 3 - 4
INGREDIENTS
olive oil for cooking and drizzling
1 white onion, finely chopped
1 garlic clove, finely chopped
350g fresh or frozen peas
1 large courgette, coarsely chopped
1 large potato, roughly diced, skin left on
500ml vegetable stock (from stock cubes or bouillon powder)
1 x 180g bag baby spinach
small bunch fresh mint leaves
sea salt and black pepper
METHOD
Heat a little olive oil in a large pan, add the onion and garlic and cook for 4 - 5 minutes or until softened.
Add the peas, courgette and potato, and enough vegetable stock to just cover all the ingredients. Simmer until the potato has softened - about 10-15 minutes
Add the baby spinach a handful at a time, until it has all wilted into the hot soup. Add the mint leaves, setting aside a few small ones
Season with salt and pepper. Transfer in batches to a jug blender and process to a smooth soup. Scatter with the reserved mint leaves and drizzle with a little olive oil to serve.
Tips for getting intimate with your menstrual cycle
Here are some of my tips for getting intimate with your menstrual cycle and your flow:
Notice the moon cycle. Get outside and see where she is in the night sky and how your own cycle relates to her cycle – do you ovulate on the full moon when she too is at her juiciest? Do you bleed when she is new, so that you share a dark night together, the night before your period and her before she turns new? The more you notice the moon, the more your cycle will align with hers. But please do note that not every lady’s cycle is 29.5 days, so you might not always be in tune with her to the extent that you bless/ovulate on a new/full moon.
Journaling is a really helpful way to connect with your cycle, writing down how you feel each day and noticing the differences throughout the month and the commonalities from month to month too.
Notice changes in secretion and discharge throughout your cycle, especially if you are trying to conceive, so that you will have a better understanding of the time of ovulation and the discharge that this brings with it (like egg white!).
Notice how you are drawn to different activities throughout the month, sometimes needing to rest, sometimes needing to be active, sometimes needing to be creative, other times needing to be quiet and retreat away from the world. Honour these, it is important that you recognise your cyclical nature as a woman and do not deny this in the quest to fit into a linear and masculine world.
Notice how you crave different foodstuffs at different timed of the month, and honour this, you might well crave sweeter foods prior to your bleed, chocolate especially, go with it, it might be just what you need!
Start to notice how you are likely to feel tender and vulnerable just after your bleed, becoming more positive and outgoing towards ovulation, before your energy begins to wane and you feel to retreat as you near your bleed and how the dark days prior to your bleed while often desperately uncomfortable can be extremely insightful and allow you to access deeper parts of yourself than you may have realised previously, such as visions and inner knowing. If you are truly honest with yourself at this time, you will notice what needs to change in your life.
Pay attention to the messages your body is giving you throughout the cycle, notice any pain and tension that arises as this is your body trying to highlight that something is out of balance, that you are holding onto some inner tension, emotional or otherwise, suppressing some aspect of you that is desperate for expression.
If you suffer with PMS as I did, then absolutely pay attention, especially in the dark days just prior to your bleed. Notice thoughts and dreams that arise during this latter stage of your cycle when your symptoms are at their worst. Notice any old feelings of shame and resentment, of anger and irritation. Do your best to release old emotions through various healing modalities such as SHEN or Reiki at this time, and slow and mindful yoga can help too.
When you are bleed perhaps wear something red, so that you come to recognise and ritualise this time of your monthly cycle and be proud of it rather than shamed by it. Each bleed brings with it the opportunity for a deep release, for letting go and endings, before you begin your next cycle and allow more of the new into your life. This is the reason it can be helpful to undertake healing work and any kind of journeying towards the end of your cycle, or on the dark moon of the moon cycle – ideal if the two align!
It’s a step too far for most but when you are bleeding, take yourself outside into a hidden place within your garden, where no one else can see you, even better if you can do it at night under the glow of the moon if she is in the night’s sky, and bleed directly onto the earth. I know for some it sounds absolutely gross, but there is a deep grounding, intimate and empowering that comes from this act of bleeding back to the earth, she who nourishes you and connects you to all life. Don’t tell anyone, just make it a ceremonial act between you, mother earth and the moon.
Avoid tampons and anything which prevents your flow, or collects blood and holds it stagnant inside you. Allow the flow. Use recyclable pads if you can
Cultivate a feeling of thankfulness towards your cycle, of allowing more of your deep wisdom, intuition and inner knowing. We women are cyclical in nature and should celebrate that, we are not linear, nor should we attempt to live our lives in a linear and masculine fashion. Embrace the twists and turns, the ups and downs, the tears and the laughter, embrace it all, and enjoy being more of who you truly are beyond the limitations of our culture, which attempts to shame menstruation and the emotional and cyclical nature of life lived as a woman.
Let your emotions come and go, don’t try to supress them because whatever is repressed will find a way to express itself and this will show up in your menstrual cycle one way or another through pain or other irregularities. Cry, let the tears flow and cleanse and calm you and clear you out for the new. Don’t be ashamed of your emotional vulnerability, don’t be ashamed of menstruation and talking about it, don’t be ashamed of being a woman.
Visit a site of ancient worship to the goddess, the mother. Here in Guernsey we are very blessed to have two notable ancient goddesses available to us, one outside St Martin’s church and another outside Castel church. Churches were frequently built on sites of ancient ceremony and worship, often to the goddess who was revered before patriarchy arrived into our world. Go visit a goddess, touch her, talk to her, invoke her energy into your life. You might invest in a goddess you can keep in your spiritual space (if you have one), you can buy them online from the Goddess Temple in Glastonbury (https://goddesstemplegifts.co.uk).
Listen to my free videos and audios on mental health and wellbeing, available from my website at www.beinspiredby.co.uk.
There are lots of books you can read, I recommend Code Red by Lisa Lister, Yoni Shakti by Dr Uma Dinsmore-Tuli, Women’s Bodies: Women’s Wisdom by Dr Christiane Northrup and Wild Power by Alexandra Pope. If you are trying to conceive then I highly recommend my own book Dancing with the Moon.
Interview with Emma for Resonance Magazine about IVF
Interview for Resonance Magazine with Reiki Master, Emma Després, author of Dancing with the Moon, about her spiritual journey through IVF.
What prompted you to write your book, Dancing with the Moon?
I was pregnant at the time, and I was aware that I was seeing an increasing number of ladies for Reiki and also at yoga classes who were experiencing fertility problems. I would often share my story in the hope that it might help them, but decided that instead of repeating myself I would blog about it instead. These blog postings seem to take on their own energy, and it crossed my mind that I might turn it into a book. However, at that point I didn’t have an ending. Then my second son was born, and the manner in which he arrived into the world gave me the perfect ending. I realised immediately after his birth that I had a book – I just needed to finish writing it!
What is the book about?
The book is essentially about my spiritual journey through IVF and on into pregnancy, birth and motherhood. Each stage presented its own challenges, from failed IVF, complications during pregnancy, births that didn’t go as intended and the shock of motherhood! It talks about how much Reiki and yoga both helped support me enormously.
In what way did Reiki support you?
I’ve been a Reiki Master since 2006, so Reiki is very much a part of my daily life and I’m eternally grateful for the day Reiki came into my life. During the IVF, it was a true blessing to be able to channel Reiki to myself during all the treatment, not least to heal from all the injections but also to help to grow good quality, Reiki infused eggs in preparation for egg collection, and then to channel Reiki to recover from egg collection and prepare my womb to receive the embryos, and then to channel Reiki to the embryos minutes after they had been implanted into my womb.
Because of working with energy through Reiki and yoga, it was an absolute blessing to be able to feel the energy of the embryos growing inside me. This was a source of immense comfort to me during the rather challenging twelve-day wait to see whether the IVF has worked. It continued to be a huge comfort through miscarriage scares and other challenges presented during my two pregnancies – especially the “do not worry” principle.
The ability to channel Reiki to myself was also a huge comfort when both pregnancies ended in Caesarean sections due to complications. The Reiki really helped my body to heal from the surgery much quicker than if I hadn’t been able to give myself Reiki.
I still accredit Reiki to helping my youngest son after being born six weeks early and needing oxygen in Neo-Natal Intensive Care Unit. As soon as I was able to touch him, I placed my hands on his chest and channelled Reiki, and I am absolutely convinced that it was doing this as often as I could those first few days that meant he was strong enough to breathe without oxygen much earlier than any of the medical staff expected.
Furthermore, Reiki helped me to come to terms with a failed round of IVF, and to recognise that there is a bigger picture to all life and everything has a timing. Plus, it helped me to be a much more empathic Reiki practitioner, I wish every lady going through IVF could channel Reiki to themselves, and feel the energy of the growing embryo. I also wish every baby in NICU could receive Reiki – plus their parents, as it can be a potentially stressful experience.
Has Reiki inspired your writing?
Yes, enormously! I’m truly passionate about Reiki and writing. Reiki has shaped my life in so many ways and I mention it many times in my book, because it has been such an integral part of my journey. I don’t believe I would have written the book if it wasn’t for Reiki helping me to step further into authenticity and empower me to believe in myself and fulfil my dreams. Furthermore, there is no doubt that Reiki has helped me to heal me and connect more fully with my creativity.
Dancing with the Moon is available to buy in paper back and ebook at www.amazon.co.uk.
Tips for navigating IVF
We have to be careful what we wish for – I had wished for a conscious conception and this is what I got. Not at all as I had expected, no rose petals and candles, instead the clinical environment of Wessex Fertility, an IVF Clinic in Southampton.
We were the lucky ones, conceiving on our first and third attempts, experiencing only one failed round. I wrote a book called Dancing with the Moon about my experience to help other women navigate this tricky time in their lives, and I highly recommend reading this if you are going through IVF. I have also recorded a series of yoga videos to help support the journey too. I share with you my tips:
Avoid self-pity: The best piece of advice anyone ever gave me (and this lady had herself been through IVF) was to avoid self-pity. If you have to go down the IVF route then it is absolutely essential to avoid self-pity as this will not help! You are not the only one going through this and you will not be the last. Notice self-pity and try and let it go.
Stay positive: Do whatever you can to stay absolutely positive about the process and about a positive result. Buying into negativity will absolutely not help and will cause your spirit to flag and your mind to suffer. There is no reason to believe that IVF won’t work. You have to trust in the process and in the medical profession who are offering you a potential way of realising your dreams of conceiving. Keep the faith high.
Intimacy: Keep it intimate, the less people who know, the better. You can lose energy discussing it with others, running the risk of it becoming a drama or a source of gossip for them, and while people try to be positive, there are many who will pity you - you can’t help but be negatively affected by that. It’s an intimate moment conceiving new life, and while you might not be conceiving in the natural way, there’s no reason it shouldn’t be treated as intimate as conception through sexual intercourse might be. It’s your journey no one else’s and it might be the very journey, which brings precious new life into the world.
Yoga: As a yoga teacher perhaps it won’t surprise you that I dug super deep into my practice. There were times when I needed to be gentle and quiet and restorative yoga was ideal and other times when I needed to move active and keep the energy high. I already have a daily practice, but I would often take to my mat a little more than usual when we were going through IVF. I’ve since recorded a series of free videos to help women who are navigating IVF, and there are general fertility-enhancing videos too, all available on my website.
A healthy diet: It goes without saying really but lots of fresh fruits and vegetables (seasonal and organic where you can), wholegrains and protein can be really supportive to the IVF process. Drink lots of fresh water too. Limit the caffeine and alcohol, everything in moderation – I drink a cup or two of tea each morning and the odd glass of wine in the evening and I didn’t stop either during IVF.
Reiki: I‘m a Reiki practitioner and teacher and I gave myself a lot of Reiki during IVF. I also went for treatments with other Reiki practitioners. Reiki really helps to release energetic blocks and can enhance fertility. It is also deeply healing, relaxing and calming. I’m biased I know but I can’t recommend it enough; it compliments IVF superbly as it also helps you to become aware of blocks in your physical, emotional, mental and/or spiritual bodies which might be preventing conception.
Meditation: IVF really helped me to commit to a daily meditation practice. Just 5-10 minutes a day can make such a difference. I would sit and watch my breath, but you could follow a guided meditation (there are free ones on my website). Not only did it strengthen my mind but it helped me to maintain a positive outlook and stay focused on the positive end result, namely conceiving a healthy baby. I absolutely encourage this, you’ll notice an unsettled and agitated mind and this should give you the opportunity to do something about it – much trickier to find the time when you already have a child/children however so just do what you can!
Ayurveda: Ayurveda is the science of life. I have been seeing an Ayurvedic doctor, Dr Deepika since 2006 and as luck would have it she is a fertility expert and has helped countless women conceive. Ayurveda is holistic and works on all levels of being, physical, mental, emotional and spiritual. I took Ayurvedic medicine, which I called ‘magic herbs’, which supported IVF. Based at Purley Oaks near Gatwick, Dr Deepika offers online appointments. You can find out more here at http://www.theayurvedicclinic.com
Yoga Nidra: Yoga nidra is extremely supportive of the IVF process. Known as the sleepless sleep, yoga nidra is a powerful meditation technique that induces complete mental, physical and emotional relaxation, encouraging healing and transformation in a positive direction. During yoga nidra you have the opportunity to form a sankalpa, a resolution or intention for the practice. A sankalpa is a short positive mental statement said in the present tense as if it had already happened. I used the sankalpa, “I am pregnant with a healthy baby”. The ancient concept of sankalpa is based on the principle that your mind has measureless capacity to effect the quality and content of your life. As the Buddha said, “The mind is everything. What you think you become”. So start practicing yoga nidra regularly, a couple of times a week if you can, not only to consciously rest but to plant the seed of your sankalpa deep within. A seed planted through yoga nidra will grow in your life. There are many free yoga nidras on my website including one of menstrual health and healing.
The ancient concept of Sankalpa is based on the principle that your mind has measureless capacity to effect the quality and content of your life.
Rest: I’ve never been very good at this but I made a real effort when I was going through IVF and I found it helpful! Growing healthy eggs is the first consideration and the body needs lots of energy to do this. So try and rest when you can, yoga nidra, holistic therapies, relaxing lavender infused soaks in the bath and early nights!
Acupuncture: I received lots of acupuncture in preparation for egg retrieval. Whether this helped me to produce the number of quality eggs that were produced on that first cycle I will never know, but it certainly helped to keep my energy high.
Holistic therapies generally: As a holistic therapist, I love holistic therapies and I was fortunate that I was able to swap yoga for therapies with my holistic friends. I indulged in a number of holistic therapies during my various IVF cycles including Bowen, reflexology, Ki massage and holistic massage. We have a wealth of holistic practitioners on Guernsey.
Drop the energy vampires: We’ve all got them, people in our life who suck the energy out of us what with their regular dramas and demands on us. We don’t need them, and they don’t really need us, only that we’re stuck in this unhelpful and unhealthy dynamic. While it takes some adjustment, it is essential that all your energy goes to you, not to those who take it away from you. You know the people I mean and you’re probably feeling a little uncomfortable at the thought of how you are going to extricate yourself from your relationship with them, but you can. Let them go and perhaps you’ll be doing them a favour in the long run. Nature abhors a vacuum after all.
Activities which exhaust your energy: Identify areas of your life where you are losing energy. Facebook was always the major one for me, it draws you in and before you know it you’ve lost hours of your life. Not only that but for me it didn’t appear to serve the higher purpose, so I chose to come off it.
Online forums: it’s just my opinion, but I avoided online IVF forums as I felt they fed victimhood and were full of insecure energy. It’s absolutely essential that you stay in your power, and do not allow yourself to feel disempowered by other women’s experience. You can do it!
Bach Rescue Remedy: If it starts getting a little stressful and you’re feeling a little emotional and out of balance then take some Bach Rescue Remedy, which is a wonderfully natural way to help calm you down. The system of plant and flower-based essences was developed in the 1930s by Dr Edward Bach, a physician and homeopath who was convinced that emotional wellbeing was key to good health and this remedy is really supportive of the IVF process.
The moon: I love the moon, she is recognised by many as the Goddess of Fertility. So go and embrace her energy. When the moon is full, get outside and bathe in her rays and pray to her and ask her to bestow you with a child and remove the obstacles in your way. Remember to give thanks, especially when you achieve your outcome!
Fertility bracelet: I love fertility bracelets! These are exactly what they say – bracelets incorporating crystals, which are known to promote fertility and reduce stress such as moonstone, rose quartz and fresh water pearls. Athene Sholl (www.athenesholl.com) and Yolande Ifold (you can find her on Facebook) make fertility bracelets and infuse them with love and Reiki. Wearing one of these bracelets will not only help to calm your energy but will make it very clear to the universe that you are committed in your quest to conceive!
Zita West: Invest in a copy of Zita West’s book Fertility and Conception. I found this book really helpful. She also has an IVF clinic, which is more holistic than most, have a look on the internet if you are interested in this.
Sculpture of whatever it is you are trying to create: Visualisation can be extremely helpful when it comes to manifesting dreams. I did all I could to keep my vision clear and found it really helpful to place a sculpture of a man and women with babe in arms in my yoga space so that I could look at it daily and stay focused on a positive outcome.
Vision board: The jury’s out on vision boards and I don’t use them now, but at the time I found it really helpful making a vision board, cutting out pictures from magazines of what I was trying to create in my life, namely a baby! I made sure there was an image of me on the board too! I didn’t look at the vision board daily, you’re best to make one and then pop it away and let it work its magic in your life.
Angels: I love angels! I’d encourage you to invite them into your life too. Ask them for help in conceiving and they will point you in the direction of people, therapies, books or whatever it may be that will help support you on your journey. They’ll leave you feathers so you know they are with you and you’ll start noticing more robins too (these are angels in disguise). You may see an owl if you’re lucky too!
The Stork Club: If you need reminding that you are not alone, other than reading my book, read Imogen Edward-Jones’ The Stork Club, it’s a funny and helpful read.
She Oak: Often an inability to conceive can be due to emotional issues, emotions that you haven’t yet processed and are holding on to in one form or another, perhaps something is eating away at you, or you haven’t made peace with childhood trauma. To help with this take She Oak tincture, a Australian Bush remedy, which encourages the individual to be emotionally open to and be receptive to conception. It also helps with balancing hormones. You can order this from Amazon.
Have fun: Don’t forget to have some fun! Life can become a treadmill of dates and times for injections and pills and blood tests and scans, so it is all too easy for life to become very glum. Make sure you allow some time to have fun, even if that’s just going for swim in the sea or getting out walking in nature, laughing at a comedy, or going for a meal with friends. Keep the energy high!
Pray: Now I’m not religious, not in the slightest, but I prayed every single day during my quest to conceive and I continue to do so now. Prayer changed my life, because it gave me strength. Try it. Direct your focus to that which you want to bring into your life and ask for guidance, give thanks and listen, absolutely listen to what comes back – there’ll be a message somewhere for you. I truly believe our prayers are always answered but NOT always in the way we imagine. You have to surrender a little to the process you are guided through. Notice your resistance to prayer because that can be telling too (more on this next).
Resistance: This is HUGE! It’s so important that you weed out any resistance you have to the IVF process, and any unconscious resistance you may have to becoming a mum and making your dream come true. It is important to identify what we call ‘vikalpas’ in the Vedic tradition. These are your unconscious sankalpas (intentions or resolutions, see above), but ones that move you in countless directions away from the destiny your soul is here to lead you to. The unconscious mind is significantly more powerful than the conscious mind. You need to do what you can to recognise and become aware of your unconscious patterns and how they are sabotaging your conscious desires and to increase the intensity of your conscious desires. If you find that your actions are contrary to, or less than supportive of your goal and intention to conceive and give birth to a healthy baby, then there will be a vikalpa, an internal resistance at work here. We have lots of unconscious patterns that create obstacles for us in our lives. unconscious resistance at work here. Perhaps – unconsciously - you don’t think you’re worthy of having a baby, perhaps you’re not sure you can cope with a baby, perhaps you’re worried about the effects of pregnancy on your body, perhaps you’re holding on to resentment from the past, from your own childhood etc., perhaps you’re worried you won’t make a good mother, perhaps you have a habit of sabotaging the good things in your life. So perhaps you need to identify your resistance and if necessary forgive and move on.
You can order my book Dancing with the Moon from Amazon or Waterstones.
You can access the free audio and video content from my website www.beinspiredby.co.uk/free-videos
Heeding the call
I’m told that we have some rare energies going on this year and it certainly feels that way, like we’re in some slip stream at the moment, with events unfolding quickly, greater coincidence, synchronicity, stuff happening, mind blowing stuff too, to deepen the faith and belief in the magical and mysterious in this universe.
It can feel like being on a roller coaster at times, an emotional one at that, flung into the darkness of despair and hopelessness, old stuff surfacing and needing clearing but feeling really horrible because of the lower vibration and the stuck-ness of it. But we need to keep moving through it, mustn’t get stuck in the gloom, over-identifying with it, one step at a time, and not jumping to conclusions.
Some will have prepared better than others and will feel fluid and in the flow, and others struggling because there is still work to be done and light to shine brighter into the shadows, still denial and an inability to take responsibility, really we have to now, there is no other way, step up otherwise there will be a rude and shocking awakening instead – we are more than just our body!
In the wider world we are going through the shift too, we are the micro of the macro as you know, and this is a pivotal moment for us as a humanity, Covid and the world’s reaction to this tiny virus has prompted significant change in the way that we are living and our relationship to fear and death and how this is manipulated so easily by the supremacy of western science. There are new worlds waiting to be born but are we ready? Can we allow ourselves the unknown or are we desperate to return to a familiar normal because it is known, even if it is broken?
Many say no. Tens of thousands of people have turned out to marches across Australia in recent days, protesting against the sexual abuse and harassment of women in the country. They were spurred by a recent wave of allegations of sexual assault, centred around Australia's parliament. Some women say that they've been rallying for equality since the 1970s, the 1980s - that they're tired but know how important it is to capture this moment.
This on the back of the “Reclaim our streets” vigil in memory of Sarah Everard grabbing headlines in the UK because of the deeply concerning footage of the police force arresting women. One of those arrested, Patsy Stevenson, whose photograph featured on many newspaper front pages, told Sky News: "I've been thrown into the public eye and the only way I can make this not in vain is to not make it political, not against the police, it's just about the safety of women and we need to talk about it."
There is no doubt that women’s safety is being talked about right now. It’s a theme I explore in my new book, about loss of safety and the impact this has on us, especially where abusive relationships are concerned, let alone not feeling safe in our own environment. You’ll have to wait for the book to read more about that, but I am aware how this undermines our sense of power and worth in this world.
Even here in Guernsey, “Reclaim our streets – Guernsey” is arranging a vigil to raise greater awareness of sexual assault, sexist violence and misogyny on the island. This with the knowledge that Safer, the local domestic abuse charity, has seen a rise in the numbers of victims of domestic abuse seeking help during the pandemic. We had already begun organising a charity event to raise funds for Safer before the second lockdown, and we’re pleased it can still go ahead, because the charity needs the funds and the increased coverage now.
A light has also been shone onto the shadow of racism and race inequality this last year. We’ve known, we’ve all known, but it’s easy to overlook it, ignore it, leave it in the shadow, because what can we do about it? But the pandemic, or the energy that’s been ramping up during the pandemic has shone a light into these shadows, so that we can no longer stay silent, no longer stay in denial, no longer pretend. It’s a big shift for us as a humanity and individually too, because the light’s been shining in and it’s uncomfortable when we see more of the truth.
There’s a lot of anger and we have to be careful that we don’t become more divisive and polarised, when we have the opportunity instead to become more socialised and accepting of diversity. Extreme activism gets us nowhere, it merely feeds the narrative and disempowers us in the process. We have to find another way of being heard and making changes, that does not result in sticking us where we’ve been stuck many times before. At the end of the day WE have to be the change, letting go of our judgments and opinions and healing our wounds, dreaming a new dream.
Many have told me that this second lockdown has been worse than the first. The first woke us up but did we heed the call or did we attempt to go back to sleep again and pretend that as soon as lockdown was over all was well, pottering on with the new normal, ignoring the little voice that has been getting more of our attention during lockdown, that things had to change? The second lockdown came in and if we hadn’t heeded the call then the light shone brighter into the shadows, ouch, and it’s become more difficult to ignore what we know, deep inside us but have been trying to silence, trying to keep hidden because it’s difficult making changes.
Which brings me to the third theme that the pandemic has highlighted – our mental wellbeing. Collectively we’re not well, we know this, we’re living in a way that is not conducive to our mental and emotional wellbeing and the pandemic and lockdown especially, with its removal of our escape routes, has highlighted this. We’ve had to come face to face with ourselves because there has been nowhere to run, no trips, no activities to distract us, an enforced period of time with family or on our own, different to our usual routine, more work, less fun, unless we have made a conscious effort to create balance.
We should be clearer now though, individually and collectively of what needs to change. We can’t pretend anymore, we should no longer ignore the fact that there’s still work to be done, collectively, that there is still deep inequality and patriarchal and colonial conditioning and a lack of taking responsibility for our health and wellbeing. We’re still selling out on what’s truly important, and wondering why we’re still suffering. Now is the time to ask ourselves, how are we choosing to live and love in this world? Are we feeding more of what’s been or are we questioning how it might otherwise be?
As Bayo Akomolafe (Ph.D.) writes on the Embercombe website, “You may have noticed that the ongoing pandemic arrived with more than epidemiological effects. It’s changed everything: what we do when we meet people; how we determine what we need; how we relate to and understand ‘science’ and authorities; how we eat, play, believe, love, and come into touch.
This is because cataclysmic shifts do not just affect the physical world in and around us, they potentially alter the social fabric of our myriad relationships. They disturb the ideas we’ve cherished, and compel new directions… It is about “crisis” (in its archetypal, mythological and historical resonances) and the critical openings presented to us to rework the ways we attend to the world around us. It is about making sanctuary during an earthquake.”
Are you making a sanctuary? Are we collectively achieving this? How can it be different for you, for me, for us all of humanity? I don’t know much but I know that this pandemic has taken me deeper into my own shadows so that I can no longer ignore the changes that have needed to be made, both in relation to self and in relation with others, but without doubt the greatest shift has been in relation to Mother Earth and her sacredness. We are all being called in some way.
The question is, will we answer the call or try to go back to sleep again, to some form of normality, even if it’s broken and no longer working? What changes are you making to promote mental wellbeing, to reduce your suffering? What are you angry about? What needs resolving? What is sacred to you? What new world would you like to create?
Love Emma x